How 16 qts. of beef stew on a Facebook post leads you to spiritual enlightenment • What “compliment” mightmake a woman boil a rabbit on your stove? • Why Southern Lent is Mardi Gras and New England Lent is misery • Which “film-maker” is an asshole? • Meet the movie star priest who solved a religious riddle (and pissed off almost everyone) • What you can do to make God smile and not destroy Earth. All this and more!
So it’s Lent. And if you have to do it, wouldn’t you rather do it the way they do in the Southern latitudes, with her as your spiritual advisor?
Or, if you’d prefer something more austere, do it New England style.
Or, to hell with it altogether.
Welcome to Saturday’s most extended after-party.
Enjoy the show. Get at me at email@example.com.
The dominatrix ex-cop we love • What is command presence? (and why should all cops have it?) • What is the police S.O.M. squad and why are members punks? • Why is ball breaking America’s biggest business? • The #metoo celeb accused of molesting men • Wanna getcha kink and rage on? This is your episode!
You can’t make this shit up is the phrase that bounces around my mind everytime I look at the news. Just when you think humanity can’t get any more stupid, it does.
At least, once in a while the indiocy is sweeteed with some eye-candy and salacious underpinnings, like the story about Kristen Hyman (pictured, in black vinyl, attempting to destroy my DNA manufacture, storage and delivery system.) Of course, it’s a rigged image, as I think Kristen and I would get along quite well. She’s a Take No Shit chick who was canned from the Hudson County Sheriff’s Dept just before graduating . They found out her previous gig was playing a whip-whistling, ball-kicking domina in kinky videos. In my book, that makes her the kind of woman who might make a great cop. When shit gets tense, Kristen won’t be needing any backup.
Here’s Kristen doing a swift-water rescue. Why don’t the life guards at my local pool look (or dress) like her?
Most of the garbage running Fed, State and local governments have done much, much worse than spank some dude (who loved every stroke) in a kinky video. But this is where we are in our so-called culture.
Kristen is a cute, pointy chick who got a bad deal. She is the yin to the yang that is Cristina Garcia – who has had a precipitious fall from grace. Garcia was featured in Time Magazine’s “Silence Breakers” issue as one of many victims of sexual harassment speaking out. But now Garcia is being accused of harassing and molesting men herself! Tsk, tsk. Imagine that? How is that possible?
Garcia doesn’t exactly deny any misbehavior. She says “I have zero recollection of engaging in inappropriate behavior.” Sounds like bullshit to me.
Here’s Garcia at a rally in L.A. braying about “bringing down the patriarchy.”
Hoist on her own petard. Ha ha ha!
As you know, my show is a no-guest format. But I would glady break that rule to have Kristen Hyman on my show. She looks smart. She looks fun. She has been wronged by government. If anyone knows Kristen, please ask her to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
On the other hand, Cristina Garcia IS the government – a politican from Southern California. She’s what’s wrong with government.
Hang with us this Sunday and every Sunday at Brother Larry’s Sinners’ Sunday.It’s your alternative God-provider. Beer, BBQ, babeage and spiritual adventure. Beats the ass off the neighborhood church, I gurantee it.
Unhappy with your current God-provider? • Had a belly-full of bible-thumping phonies? • Then hang with the badasses at Sinners’ Sundays, where there’s beer, B-B-Q, babeage and spiritual adventure • Finally – a Sunday experience you can believe in.
Where to meet your soul mate • Why Valentine’s Day is THE most dangerous day • Steve Wynn’s $7.5 mil payoff and the power-drunk punk bureaucrat • The new abnormal norms • Why Caitlyn Jenner knows more than you do • Why men must get pointy to get laid • How men are outgunned in the battle of the sexes • Everything you need to know about love and more!!!!
Here we are looking down the barrel of another Valentine’s Day – a day usually fraught with anxiety – but now, it’s just outright dangerous. Why? Because if you’re a dude who wants to win the heart – or other select parts of a chick – and you don’t do the Valentine thing juuuust right – you might wind up smeared, jobless or even jailed. That’s where we’re at now in our so-called society.
I can’t wait to see this year’s stories of Valentine’s abuse and triggering. OMG! The flowers he gave me made me sneeze! I want him fired!Or… the chocolates weren’t non-GMO… I’m suing!Or… He sent me a Valentine card without my written consent! Off with his scrotum!
How did we get here? Is our species doomed? Fear and paranoia are the new emotional norms. It’s eerily reminiscent of the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers. The plot was simple – some type of viral cosmic filth blew onto the earth and while everyone slept, they were digested by giant, swollen zucchinis and re-constituted to look as they did prior to ingestion. But the new Veggie People had flat-lined personalities.They all smiled that same dead eyed, dial-tone smile. They never laughed. They never showed any emotion. They just went about their normal business with all the verve, enthusiasm and predictability one would expect from a walking, talking squash. Until they met someone who had not yet been re-constituted. Then the would get triggered. They would stop and stare and point and screech like a Banshee getting corn-holed by a white hot, spiked javelin.
This is what it looked and sounded like:
There was a lot of controversy over the allegory of the movie. To me, it represented the Commie take-over. The hive mentality. The genocide of the individual.
If I were re-making the movie, I’d have it end on more of an up-note. The unconverted girl in the raincoat would pull a sawed-off 12 gauge from beneath her coat and stick it in Donald Zucchini Sutherland’s shrieking mouth and pull the trigger, blowing out the back of his head with a fine mist of blood and pumpkin guts.
I can think of nothing more thrilling that flirting with a pointy female. And now, the sex, speech and behavior Nazis are writing a code of conduct for that endeavor. These rigid, meddlesome, dictatorial shit-bags must be stopped, or
We. Are. Fucking. Doomed..
…unless armies of smart, enlightened, vivacious, non-Birkenstock-wearing women coalesce and organize and arm themselves with razor wits and tongues and humor and humanity and sawed-off shotguns and stop the galloping advance of the cosmic space filth that has invaded our world.
Ladies, the fate of our species is in your smooth, femme, manicured, bejeweled, competent and loving hands. SAVE US!
My new spin-off show – Brother Larry’s Sinful Sunday premieres this Sunday, February 11. Don’t miss it! It is going to SERIOUSLY trigger most organized religions and the frauds that run them. We’ll be serving cocktails while we take a spiritual journey to the truth.
Write to me at email@example.com
Support the show and the quest to eradicate viral Commie soul-sucking cosmic filth. Click here.
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5 Secrets that make you un-con-able • Beware the “P” word (it’s not what you think) • Phrases con artists use on you • The book that changed Larry’s life • The #1 cause of homicidal rage • Recognizing deceptive signals • Who should we trust? • The BIG ANNOUNCEMENT – A SPIN OFF SHOW! All this and more!!!
Life doesn’t get any easier does it? That’s because we spend our adult lives like characters in a spy novel, trying to figure out who’s sharpening a knife for us. At school, at work, on social media, we sprint through a never-ending, horrid gauntlet of cretins trying to rip us off, defame us, damage and destroy us.
In this episode, you’ll discover 5 secrets that will make you impervious to all those evil bitches and bastards. You’ll learn the signals – verbal and non-verbal, that grifters and punks and lovers and spouses use to set you up. You’ll learn who to trust and why. After just 24 minutes with me, you’ll be better equipped than Neo was after they downloaded kung-fu into his brain.
Can you name another podcast that does that for you? No. You can’t. And you know exactly the ones I’m talking about.
And speaking of other podcasts, I’m launching a spin off show – BROTHER LARRY’S BAD ASS SUNDAY SNAPS. There’s a teensy taste included in this episode. I’ll reveal more as we draw nearer to the debut date, which is Sunday, February 11.
This Sunday is Super Bowl Sunday. I have no idea who’s playing. I’ve never watched even one Super Bowl. Too much padding, too many rules, more starts and stops that a geriatric taking a leak. But I might start watching the new XFL games coming from Vince McMahon. IF – they lose all padding and helmets. IF every man gets a black jack. And IF any player makes a political statement OF ANY KIND, a psycho clown immediately beheads that player with a chain saw and then football shifts to field hockey using that player’s head. That would be entertainment. That would be sport.
A Hollywood star haunts Larry • Is Larry psychic? • Who are the junk people? • Which EU dictator tops the junk list? • Why did Facebook censor Larry? • Why getting Zucc’d is not funny • How did Larry cheat fate? • Can you make your own luck? • Why nothing is accidental (or is it?) • Crackdown on crackdowns • Who does Larry sentence to the Quasimodo treatment? • What is the Quasimodo treatment? • All this and more!!!!
Meddlesome, Commie assholes. Seems we just finish bitch-slapping one into oblivion and another pops up to try to take KONTROL. It’s like whack-a-mole.
In Episode 17, Bully Busting, Tony Spumonte got wind that EU top hunk o’ junk Jeane Claude Juncker was threatening the USA, so we caned his worthless ass at the TNS dojo. When finished, it looked like a burst can of tomato paste. Now, Juncker’s right-hand bag, Vera Jourova, (yes that Vera, the one who wears pink polyester blazers with a rhinestone poodle on the lapel and whose favorite hair product is Kiwi black) is going to wipe hate speech from social media. We’ve got some severe plans for her, too. What are they? You’ll have to listen. Start at the 13:38 mark for a verbal fusillade and work your way backwards to discover why she merits our contempt and abuse.
We don’t like censorship – especially since this very show has been censored by none other than Facebook. They did not approve of the thumbnail for Episode 26: Dangerous Summer Fun. Zuckerberg’s soybois said it was too sexually suggestive. Since they spend their entire lives masturbating to hentai, I guess when they see a depiction of a non-cartoon female in a bikini, they just fritz out like a wet circuit.
Here’s the offending thumbnail that was just “too sexual”:
Here’s the revised version they found acceptable:
Note to all anti free speech Statists – you rear your ugly heads and we’re swinging at them – for the fences. You are junk. You must be… eliminated. Does that sound sinister? Good.
Once the Commie-eradication business is completed, this episode gets back to the spirit of its thumbnail – the weird, the unexplained, the bizarre and the kooky. Like how I was haunted – across the globe – by an old movie and TV star named Ben Gazzarra. He starred in a bunch of flicks and here’s the trailer for my favorite, HUSBANDS. At the 1:49 mark, Gazzara utters the best line in the movie, which is embedded in this episode.
I first saw HUSBANDS on TV and was mesmerized. Three guys mourn the loss of their mutual best friend by going on an extended drunken bender that includes London. Not all of them return to NYC. Check it out.
If any women don’t understand men – real men – not bed-wetting soybois and snowflakes, they should not just watch, but study this movie.
THAT LARRY SHOW has a closed group on Facebook. Log in and type thatlarryshow in the search bar. If you can answer the 3 secret questions and are very nice to Tess, the group disciplinarian, maybe she’ll let you in. There’s some wild shit going down in there.
What 2 words most trigger Larry? • How to ID bogus political movements • The magic question that stops safe speech assholes cold • Where in the U.S. is free speech already restricted? • What were George Carlin’s 7 words you can’t say on TV? • Why the Puritans were actually sexy beasts • The Facebook execu-chick you’ll love to hate • Who started the new age of censorship? • All this and more, when Larry goesFULL AUTO ON FRAUDS!
Someone once asked me why I wrote books. I told them I write one when I get a belly full of something. Seeing a college production of Grease butchered by thought-police censors is why I wrote this episode. I’ve had a belly full of assholes telling me what they think is “offensive” and “inappropriate,” and then censoring material for my safety.
Not that I care about Grease – it’s just a Broadway show , and I’m not a huge fan of any of them. But I am a writer. And when some self-righteous boi or gurl takes it upon themselves to chop, cut and redact or censor ANY writer’s work, I want to punch the smarmy smile right off their fuckin’ faces.
No words should be banned. EVER. NONE. However, some tech ’tist should design a Transformer-like robot that can violate all known laws of physics and locate itself anywhere on the planet anytime some pissant utters the words “inappropriate” or “offensive.” Then the robot punches their face with a metal fist the size of a Buick. If the Magic Robot of Justice hears anyone say the words, “Let’s ban” this or that, he fires an RPG straight into their open mouth, after saying that most odious of phrases.
In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a World War in progress. And it’s not a fight for land. It’s a battle for free speech. Already around the globe, in Europe, India and elsewhere, people are being jailed for words. Words. Let that sink in.
Where did this begin? Well, Commies hate free speech. But even before they appeared, there were other sewer-dwellers who wanted to muzzle free thought and speech.
In more recent times, we had Tipper Gore, ex-wife of bogus environmental hustler/hypocrite Al Gore. Tipper succeeded in forcing recording artists to label their work as “inappropriate.” Artists like Prince, AC/DC, Motley Crue and many others.
Tipper did what she did to “protect the children.” Watch out for assholes who tie their power-grabs to child protection. Or protection of women. Or any group. They are usually full of shit.
Tipper’s ex-hubby took Tipper’s idea of tying a power grab to a group and expanded it dramatically. He claimed to be protecting the entire planet. But as you’ll see in this video I made, Al is completely full of shit – a hypocrite of the lowest order.
LIFE SCRIPTS — what to say when you’re stopped by cops/harassed by the boss/ambushed by the significant other • When to play dumb • The magic word that confounds adversaries • The most powerful sound in all communication • The 2 -word key to invincibility • Questions that can save your job – and sanity • How to deal with a cheating girlfriend • Best all-time movie lines • All this and MORE!
In part 1, psycho Monty threatened to burn down the ski cabin. Does Larry wind up in jail? Hospitalized? How does Larry survive skiing at 35 below? Does he score with Lucy, the pointy chick from Brooklyn? Does he punch the crap out of Monty? What wisdom does he glean from Tony Spumonte? This must-listen episode answers all questions, in a nail-biting cliff -hanger unlike anything you’ve heard before.
What are hostage holidays? • What’s the Holiday Wasteland and how do you survive it? • How many young women did Larry fit into the luggage racks of a “motor coach?” • What do you do when a psycho named Monty tries to set your room on fire? • Skiing @ 85 below zero – is it fun? • Who is Trumpet Steve and why is he a chick magnet? • Which form of mass transit turns adults into drunken kids? • What does hypothermia feel like? • All this and MORE in Part One of this special episode.
In only two years, it will be the twenties again. Will they roar? Unless something cataclysmic occurs, no. But I hope to hell they do. Because our world is turning into a fucking pre-school run by angry gender-neutral, nanny-statist cretins who know nothing about life, live their own lives as a veal does and want everyone to be safe and offended. That should be their zombie-like mantra. Be safe! Be offended!Have a nice day!
Anybody who says have a safe anything should have their face punched in. Safety is overrated. Safety is an illusion. Safety’s for bed wetters. Just like rubber sheets.
Not too long ago, people were tougher. More resilient and self-reliant. That made them fun and interesting and sexy. Now, most people are mushy blobs of fear and compliance. And they wear helmets for every god damn thing. Ski helmets are stupid. If Sonny Bono had worn one, he’d be alive today. See? Ski helmets are stupid.
In this episode, come along with me for an adventure in a winter wonderland. Or more accurately, a ski weekend where a cosmic wind swept out of another galaxy and raked the Adirondack mountains of upstate New York, producing temperatures more typical of Siberia. 38 below zero, with a wind chill yielding 85 below. But numbers lack feeling. Numbers spark no images. How about a cold so cold, spit bounces like a pebble. That’s cold. That you can see and hear and do. Bouncing spit.
Blissfully, on this crazy ski weekend, we soldiered on and had loads of fun. Did we almost die? Hell yeah. Maybe that’s what really made it fun. Plus, there were pointy chicks. Lots of them. And they looked really fetching in their snow bunny outfits. There was copious drinking. There were threats of hyper-violence and arson. If those aren’t the main ingredients of a fun time, what are?
I recently over heard — no, actually, I was eavesdropping — a high school kid tell his pal how he made a prank phone call to his teacher – not a threat – just a goofy kid prank call. And the asshole teacher called the cops and… they showed up! In Los Angeles. That says where we are as a society. Not a good place.
This first of a two part episode will make you wish for a cataclysm.