September 2018 – That LARRY SHOW

Episode 130: God vs Science (Sinners’ Sunday #33)

Does praying work? • How smart is God? • How stupid are people? • What’s the great equalizer? • Is it better to pray naked or wearing a clown suit? • How do Big Bang theorists dress? • What is the root of atheism? • Who does God find funnier, clergymen or scientists? • New fact: God is from Brooklyn • All this and more in Sinners’ Sunday #33.

Greetings.

Can’t believe we’ve gathered in this rickety old chapel for 33 weeks straight. Amazing! This is the God vs Science episode, and of course, Science gets its ass kicked. How thoroughly? You’ll have to invest 13 minutes to find out.

Speaking of investments, the Chapel needs a paint job, Brother Dre and the Larry-ettes have not been paid in forever and we’re almost out of beer and ribs. So next week’s episode of Sinners’ Sunday – and alternate Sundays thereafter – will be available on Patreon only. For the meager sum of $2 bucks a month. You blow at least twice that every day at Starbucks, and all all that buys you is Commie propaganda and coffee jitters. Whereas Sinners’ Sunday not only brings you things spiritual in an utterly unique way, it just might save your immortal soul. That’s a helluva deal for two bucks a month.

In this episode, I learned how there are more stars in God’s universe than grains of sand on all of Earth’s beaches. It’s too lengthy to explain here, but here’s a link that does an excellent job.

https://www.universetoday.com/106725/are-there-more-grains-of-sand-than-stars/

See you next Sunday. At www.patreon.com/thatlarryshow

Write to Brother Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com

Episode 129: Veal-Men Won’t Survive the Apocalypse

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Is Nurse Ratched running the world? • Is medication better than medicine? • Why Aldous Huxley was a creep • Why the Geomagnetic Apocalypse will be fun! • Do chix like danger? • The soundtrack of the War on Men • What two words now rule planet Earth? • What does koyaanisqatsi mean and how does it foretell the apocalypse • How to know if you are a Veal-Man (and what to do if you are) • All this and more in one of the most bizarre episodes of That LARRY SHOW ever!

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Episode 128: Bono & the Pope

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Who is the greatest man alive? (Hint: it ain’t Bono or the Pope) • What did JC think of celebrity? • Why is celeb worship sick? • What is the magic incense burned at the Sinners’ Sunday Chapel? • Was JC a Commie? • What did Bono and the Pope talk about? • What was the Pope’s job before the priesthood? • Why does The Edge suck? • All this and more in this eye-opening episode.

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Episode 127: Living Guilt Free

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How to dump your girlfriend (and not feel bad) ● Why people no longer have problems ● What is the FWD factor and how will it save your life? ● The crappiest thing you kid will ever do to you ● How to find the perfect girlfriend / wife ● What Larry learned about love from a real estate deal gone bad ● More deceptive language from ass-hats ● Having trouble sleeping? This episode has the answer!

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Episode 126: The Red Heifer Prophecy (Sinners’ Sunday #31)

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What does the birth of the pure Red Heifer mean? ● Why was Nostradamus a nitwit? ● Who were the 3 wise guys and should we believe them? ● What is the MASSIVE disconnect between Christianity and the Bible? ● Astrologers, seers and psychics – what do they really know? ● What was Jesus’ opinion of astrology? ● All this and more – in Sinners’ Sunday # 31

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Episode 125: Manhaters and Death Cults

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Why is mass suicide so damn funny? • Who is that Mensa-Pony-Tail-God-Girl in every TV commercial? • Who is her chinless, mouth-breathing, nematode co-star? • Why Larry never watches football • Why Starbucks is the best venue for suicide recruitment • New recordings from inside the Heaven’s Gate death mansion! • How to join Larry’s suicide cult, “Skull Rock” (act now!) • Your own suicide – death-cult starter kit. • All this in the ill-est episode of that LARRY SHOW yet!

First, the man-bashing. It’s so ubiquitous in the media, we’ve become to inured to it.

What do I mean? Watch this stupid ad.

STUPID CARGURUS.COM AD

Greasy-headed manlet-moron can’t pick a car until slim, trim, perky femme arrives with smart phone and smart brain and shows him what an imbecile he is with two swipes of her manicured thumb.

We see this same tableau played out on every sitcom, in every movie and every commercial. If it was stupid female straightened out by smart male, there would be boycotts, there would be firings, there would be a shit-storm.

If you haven’t noticed, males are the new underclass. Fewer of them in college, way more of them in jail (serving longer sentences for identical crimes as female convicts) a pittance in research for prostate cancer (which has a way higher fatality rate than breast cancer), fewer men in white collar jobs. Glass cieling? Utter bullshit. Same as the wage gap.

Wake the fuck up, people. There is no war on women. There never was.

Next, there’s a big asteroid slated to swing by Earth, up close and personal, this November. They say it resembles a skull. That means somebody on this sphere must be ginning up a new suicide cult in prep for it. Because mass suicides seem to run in 20 year intervals – Jonestown, ‘78 – Heaven’s Gate, ‘97 – let’s get something set up for ‘18, people!

So in prep for Skull – The Asteroid of Death:

we dug back into the archives and discovered previously unknown recordings of the architect of the Heaven’s Gate mass suicide, Marshall “Do” Applewhite.

Have a listen, you’ll be amazed.

What’s the connection between Manhaters/The War on Men and Do Applewhite? He insisted all his male “voyagers” have their balls cut off before blast off. He himself was a happy, placid gelding.

Maybe Do was ahead of his time.

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Episode 124: Gettin’ Woke With JC ‘Phones (Sinners’ Sunday #30)

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What it means if your head explodes ● What if lying made your teeth fall out? ● Should pissed off, Old Testament God return and start kicking ass? ● Was J.C.’s best miracle getting people woke? ● Which modern Pope was cool and which is a Commie? ● What to do if you meet someone that’s just a head and a torso ● Why listening is not enough ● All this and more in Sinners’ Sunday #30!

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Episode 123: Larry Visits a Secret Club and Learns the Meaning of Life

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Larry hangs with the Exalted Ruler and learns the meaning of life ● Secret societies and clubs – Larry uncovers their true purpose ● Hear the secret 11^th Hour Toast ● Why we love (and need) conspiracies ● Why everything is a club ● How the Boy Scouts tried to recruit Larry (and why they failed) ● What clubs do you belong to? (It’s a lot more than you think) ● All this and more in the best TLS episode yet!

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Episode 122: The Plague is Here. Are You Ready? (Sinners’ Sunday #29)

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Is God pissed? ● How did a town in Southern Russia piss off God last week? ● Who else is God mad at – Ebola, Zika, Rabies, Yellow Fever, Cholera, Polio and Typhoid are all spreading around the globe ● What miracle product did Larry use to stop a plague at his home? ● How many insect species live at your house? (It’s WAY more than you think) ● All this and more in this week’s Sinners’ Sunday.

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Bonus Episode 20: Conquering Fear

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How to get the girl, the job, the respect ● 3 keys to overcoming fear – guaranteed! ● What does getting in character mean? ● How do you wear your character? ● The chick that trashed Larry’s confidence ● The chick that helped restore it ● The importance of exercising and exorcising ● How to lose the baggage that’s weighing you down ● All this and more, only at patreon.com/thatlarryshow

Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com