Month: July 2019

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Where and what is the real-life Frankenstein? ■ Has PC culture killed Frankenstein? ■ What does the word “denier” really mean? ■ What’s a HUMANZEE? ■ Why should you avoid businesses with “Shoppe” in the name? ■ Why Larry never drinks tap beer ■ What two themes of the Frankenstein story have become un-PC? ■ Which animals’ DNA is Japan mingling with human DNA? ■ All this and more in this very scary episode!

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WHAT’S SO FUCKIN’ FUNNY ABOUT BODY PARTS?

I’ll be dipped in shit if I know, but it sure looks like TV reporter Briana Whitney thinks BUCKETS O’ BODY PARTS is a grinner. Just look at her. (BTW, she looks like a fun chick,)

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Of course, it wasn’t any of her relatives that were chopped up like rusty Chevrolets, so why not laugh?

Next, here’s Troy Harp.

.Kinda resembles Tony Soprano, no? He’s one of 30 people suing the Biological Resource Center in Phoenix for – mistreating his mom’s and grandma’s bodies, which he donated to BRC for “medical research.” But he doesn’t look any more upset about it than Briana. In fact, they both look kind of amused by the whole bloody mess.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But The BRC did cut up mom and grandma with tools Troy complained were “not appropriate for dismembering scientific bodies.” 

Here’s a surgical saw. Looks pretty much like a saw you can get at Home Depot, right? What are they supposed to use, kind and gentle saws?

 

 

 

Here’s the entire video report, in which everyone seems as amused as I am by the whole thing.

Buckets of dicks, loose arms, torsos and a “small female head” sewn onto a male body and hung on the wall.

In closing this episode, I wanted to mention several people who have been extremely supportive of this show. They all have their own internet shows/blogs. Every one of them is entertaining.

You probably already know Nick Rekieta – he’s become a YouTube sensation. Check out his channel, here (and look for ME in several of his CHAD DAD live streams.) Nick is not only a YouTube star, he’s a hero. He raises tons o’ jing to help people falsely accused by PC/SJW scum. 

Do you like beer? Okay, stupid question. But there are a jillion of ‘em, and wines and liquors… and some are good and some really suck. Life is  too short (and booze is too pricey) to experiment, which is why you need to subscribe to the best fucking adult beverage review out there – The Mighty Plantain. From deep in the heart of the Pine Tree State comes Chris, a dude with a gut as tough as a pine knot. His mission is simple: he drinks the swill so you don’t have to. Watching him has changed my life Just a couple weeks ago, I refused a strange beer in Boston, because I’d seen The Mighty One’s review of it. Saved myself $12 and a ruined lunch. Thank you, Chris. Subscribe to his channel here.

Darren O’Neill has not one, but TWO fantastic podcasts. First , randumbthoughts.com. I never miss an episode, and once you try it, you won’t either. He’s a classic broadcast pro, a truth-teller and puts out one of the most listenable shows you’ll ever hear. He has a newer spin-off, with his pal Ryan Bemrose. It leans toward the tech side, but not so much that a Luddite like me can’t understand and dig it. And oh, the rants. They give good rants! GrumpyOldBens.com

Have you met Pretentious James? He has a YouTube channel and it’s a pisser. Always funny, always quirky, always original. Checkum out here. You’ll be glad you did.

Ever had low back pain? 4 out of 5 people do. Throw out the Advil and watch THIS guy. Dr. William Wong is the TRUTH. And he rocks that stylin’ TNS Dojo t-shirt like a boss, doesn’t he? He’s a physician, and covers anything and everything that ails us, always with a view toward natural healing. That’s what you want, folks.

 

Dr. Wong Bonus: he hates Commies! Check out his blog and his YouTube channel.

By now, you know I’m an enthusiatic 2^nd amendment supporter? Why? Because I had a firearm, I was able to stop an attempted home invasion, which I chronicled in bonus episode 2,  here.

If you ever have some psychotic fuckball trying to kick in your front door at 4 a.m. – remember – when seconds count, the cops are only minutes away. So if you have any interest in firearms, there’s really only one blog you need to visit: this one www.looserounds.com. There are shit loads of gun blogs, but this one is best because in addition to the vital info, it delivers great stories and historical events. Context, baby. That’s where it’s at.

Bonus episode coming shortly only at www.patreon.com/thatlarryshow. And come back in a few days for Sinners’ Sunday.

Until then, check out my friends. Thanks for listening and special thanks to all Patrons – you rock!

Take No Shit.

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Why is storming Area 51 so damn appealing? ▲ Will Larry be there? ▲ How is it the antidote to our reality? ▲ What’s really at Area 51 – national secrets or a big head-fake? ▲ Searching for something bigger than ourselves ▲ What was Hands Across America? ▲ Larry tells a listener how to slay his dragons of anxiety

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Regular listeners know I’m a freak for the desert. Before I became a desert rat, I was a water rat – lived right on the beach for years. And I do love the ocean. But as a backdrop for bizarre shit, the desert reigns supreme. Maybe that’s because while the ocean represents life, the desert is death. If you could desalinate the water, you could live on the ocean indefinitely. You’re literally floating on food. Not so in the desert. There, if you don’t pack enough going in, you’re not coming out.

I’m loving this Area 51 thing. It fires on all cylinders – let’s fuck with the government, let’s play war, lets do sneaky shit, let’s uncover the truth, let’s find aliens, let’s haul ass like Mad Max through the desert night – all of which fit nicely under the banner ADVENTURE FOR MEN.

Of course it started as a goof. So do some businesses, romances, you name it. Somebody says, “hey, wouldn’t it be a pisser if we jumped in the car and drove to (insert location) and when we got there, we (insert verb) and (insert verb) And the gang screams FUCK YEAH! That’s the genesis of many adventures.

What’s also uber appealing about the Area 51 raid is its just for the fuck of it factor. No fake do-gooder bullshit. Nobody’s donating money for Martians counted or gubmnt officials pissed off. No enviro hook. Nobody is going to be lifted out of poverty or addiction or cured or healed. And that may be it’s most attractive attribute.

Are you sick of everything in life having cause attached to it?. The Area 51 siege is like panty raids or swallowing goldfish or eating hot dogs seeing how many guys could pack into a VW bug. No purpose whatsoever other than the delight and amusement of the participants.

Just. For. The. Fuck. Of. It.  

Maybe I should start a movement; The J.F.T.F.O.I. club. Open admissions, but the first member who suggests a GoFundMe or cleaning up any mess we make or “in memory of…” is not only 86’d from the club, they shall be strapped to a rocket and fired at the sun. Join at your own risk.

In this episode, I review a virtue signaling event from 1986. This was the poster / logo. If you find it remotely appealing, you’re on the wrong show page.

Hands Across America was a colossal dud. People got amped up months in advance and when it finally happened, nothing happened. They raised a whopping $15 million to “fight poverty.” Bezos drops more than that on weekly alimony. Even back in ‘86, $15 mil was a pitiful take.

Will I take part in the Storming of Area 51? Only if a group of listeners will join me. I’m not going solo and currently, I have no (local) friends with the J.F.T.F.O.I. mindset.

We have 3 weeks to prepare.

You know where to find me.

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When Jesus comes back, will he be pissed off? ▲ What will be be – a bus driver? Hedge fund billionaire? A hacker? A pointy chick? ▲ How many Twitter followers will he need to save the world? ▲ Will he be de-platformed for hate speech? (He used it) ▲ How to spot counterfeit Jesus (there are many) ▲ How will they crucify him this time? ▲ All this and more in Sinners’ Sunday #61

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Is there a cult in YOUR future? ■ How to signal cult recruiters that you’re ready for abuse, deprivation and enslavement ■ How to start your own cult ■ Cult management – solo or with partners? ■ Name changes – the dumber the better ■ Wardrobe choices – velour Tuxedos or saffron robes? ■ Cult revenue streams, from tacky branded apparel to really shitty music ■ All this and more in episode 199!

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LEAD, FOLLOW OR GET OUT OF THE WAY. A stupid trope – a meme frequently seen on the desks of hard-charging managers all over corporate America. It should have this expository text: I AM AN EGO-MANIAC AND A COMPLETE ASSHOLE.

In Los Angeles, that meme could be cut to a single word. FOLLOW. This is the land of Follow…The Grifter / Psychotic / Serial-killer / Phony Father-Figure-Holy-Man / Alien from Another Dimension / Reformed Pimp. And after the follow, fuck his brains out. The number of cults in LA is staggering. Why is LA to cults what Milwaukee was to beer? In a word… Hollywood.

Take any given idiot anywhere in the country – even in the world (are you listening, A-h-h-hnold?) who looks at his or her reflection in the morning and sees a decent jawline augmented by zero prospects in life, and that person will find a way to get to Hollywood. 63% of them wind up in insurance or real-estate. The remainder join cults. What kind of cults? Sex cults, drug cults, religious cults, political cults, occult cults, UFO cults, business cults, video-game cults, life-coaching cults, car cults, celebrity-worship cults, dietary cults, comet cults, death cults, Yatzee cults, the Communist Party … there’s a cult for everything. Leaders and followers. Which reminds me of another trope seen at zillions of offices AND at peak performance cult gatherings – Unless you’re the lead dog, the view never changes. The followers are just fine with having their nose pressed to Maximum Leader’s ass because that sphincter gives them something they cannot acquire on their own. Direction. Instead of depicting of the leader of any given cult, there should be a close-up of his or her asshole. That would be truth in propaganda.

“Join us, and follow this asshole. No, literally!”

The first commandment of every cult is obey. Wake up, go to sleep, eat, kneel, stand, sit, work, bend-over. A lot of people really, really crave that level of intense and constant direction. Why is that? Maybe it makes them feel good. They say those Isis fucktards join that shit-show because they’re all directionless mopes and Isis is big, dictatorial Daddy. Did all those goose-stepping idiots enjoy being screamed at by the Little Corporal? Of course they did. Remember those assholes in 3^rd grade who would do stupid shit so the teacher would yell at them? Same thing.

“Somebody loves me enough to tell me what to do.”

Tony Alamo was kind of like that. Unlike many cult leaders, Tony didn’t just offer paternal protection; his wife, Susie, would also mother the followers. So they got Mommy and Daddy. It worked great until Susie died. Then Tony went apeshit.

But it was a hell of a ride. For a while there, Tony was minting money. At his Arkansas sweat shop, the Tony Alamo Christian Ministry manufactured incredibly garish custom jean jackets. Some people love them. I think they could make a pig puke, but what do I know? Back in the day, Burt Reynolds and Dolly Parton wore them. Now, Miley Cyrus

 

 

 

 

and Nikki Minaj rock them.

 

 

 

 

You can snatch one off Ebay for around a grand. That’s a lot of jing for used denim and Rhinestones and airbrush artwork that looks purloined from Lowrider Magazine.

I find cults not only fascinating really, really REALLY funny– no matter how evil. Few things are more ridiculous looking than a Nazi uniform – the jackboots, the belt across the chest, the goofy skulls and monocles. The Scientologist get-ups are funny, too. All that quasi nautical shit – shoulder ropes and crisp little caps and rhodium plated crap that says Sea-org. Watching Tom Cruise salute David Miscavige might be the funniest 7 seconds of video ever recorded. Maybe I’ll do Scientology next, but those guys still worry me.

The late Harlan Ellison – a take-no-shit guy who sued the studios for ripping him off on The Terminator, claims to have been in the room the night L. Ron Hubbard proclaimed he was going to get sick-rich by founding a nutty religion. I believe Harlan.

I’ve done a number of shows on cults – Manson’s cult, some small time religious cults. But Tony was one damn funny guy. When I stumbled on his story, his look reminded me of a character that was part of Andy Kaufman’s act – Tony Clifton.

Tony Clifton was this obnoxious lounge singer locked in the 70’s. He wore velour tuxedos and gold-framed shades and ruffled shirts. And he would often get in fights with hecklers and tell them to fuck off. I LOVED Tony Clifton. Some say Andy was Tony, some say Tony was played by Kaufman’s pal Bob Zmuda. Nobody seems certain. Andy Kaufman was a genius. There are damn few of those.

Another endearing facet about Tony: Once his beloved but awfully plain Susie was dead, Tony upgraded his choices in female companionship. Just compare this mouth watering blonde… 

…to the gonorrhea-faced Manson chicks. Of course, Charlie was nearly a midget. Tony was a big, robust dude. And that hair. Sculpted hair beats the follicles off those mangy, greasy hippie styles. And lastly, Tony did have Jesus on his side.

Maybe in his own crazy way, Tony was a prophet. The name he chose for himself turned out to be more prescient than he ever imagined. Maybe right now in Europe, there’s some French kook in a velvet Tux re-branding himself Tony Waterloo. I fucking hope so. I really do.

 

 

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The SECRET WORD Kamala Harris used to flip Joe Biden ■ The words other people use to try to control you ■ Why are you at a disadvantage during any dialog with a large corporation or the government? ■ Ways customer service people can screw you ■ 2 types of customer service people – how to ID them and deal with them ■

The French have a phrase: L’esprit de l’escalier, and the literal translation is something like, “I said it on the staircase” – in other words, your snappy retort or withering comeback to some verbal assault was expressed to the banister on that staircase, rather than the face of the douche bag who just insulted you.

We’ve all experienced that. And the smug prick who just sucker-punched you is feeling quite pleased with him or herself. But they should not be. Because 9 out of 10 times, their zing to you was premeditated – often rehearsed – maybe for days or week in advance, and your answer was a true ad lib. Which may be why fuck you is the great all-purpose retort.

When you research many of the world’s most beloved comebacks, quite often they were never said, or were muttered on that staircase or maybe even weeks later and time zones away from the scene of the bushwhacking.

What made me decide to explore Verbal Judo was a two things – a contentious call with a receptionist at Moose’s veterinary clinic (Moose is the official and epilepsy-afflicted guard dog of the Take No Shit Dojo.) The other impetus was the now famous – at least until next debate – sand bagging of Hairplug Joe Biden by the razor-toothed California senator, Kamala Harris.

As a kid in Queens NY, I participated in many, many rock fights. Yes, you read that correctly – rock fights. The streets were a mess then, so potholes in the crumbling asphalt supplied endless ammo. In winter we had to use snowballs. If we were smart in autumn, we’d squirrel away some rocks to pack inside the snowballs.

One of the oldest tricks was throwing – from some distance – a high, arcing rock – and while the target is watching that projectile, you fire a second, line drive stone at him that he never sees coming. Was there blood? Sometimes. They were rocks, not spitballs. But no one ever really got mad. It was a game. Nobody forced anyone to participate. If you got hurt, too bad.

That rock fight fake-out is exactly what Harris did to Biden. Maybe it should be called the Reverse Marc Antony play. “I come not to praise Caesar, but to bury him.” She started off by proclaiming Biden was not a racist. She even complimented him. He smiled warmly in her direction. And then she proceeded to fire the torpedo, telling Biden why he was indeed a racist, and a “hurtful” one at that.

The look on Biden’s face as he realized he had been sandbagged was priceless.

Within a week, Biden was defending her from somebody else’s accusations. Politics makes strange bedfellows. Maybe old Joe is hot for her and has a kinky streak. Please ma’am, may I have another?

99% of politicians – regardless of party – are horrible people. Devoid of talent, all they can do is take bows for things they never achieved and promise to do things they have no intention of accomplishing. Somebody said, anyone who seeks power should never be given it. Truer words…

If you’re breathing, you’ve probably heard dozens of talking heads analyze the Biden – Harris exchange. But I suspect (hope) no one has done so as I have. This election cycle is going to be a hoot. And now that early on the bar has been set at the level of trench warfare, look forward to lots more eye-gouges, kidney punches and low blows. It’s gonna be FUN!

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The can’t fail, no side-effects anti-depressant JC used (and you can too) ■ Why was JC bummed out before he fed the multitudes? ■ Why JC was not a rock star ■ How did the apostles almost cancel the feeding of the multitudes? ■ Did JC manifest toxic masculinity at the feeding of the multitudes? ■ How did the fishes and loaves spark a party?

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How Bleeding Jesus Freddie’s Death Bomb nearly killed Larry, Tony Spumonte and Freddie ■ Larry’s throw-down with a Frenchman in Tahiti ■ The sword that made Germany lose WWll ■ How England kicked its own ass in the War for Independence ■ What is America’s secret of success? (You’ll never guess) ■ How did Larry’s law-abiding Dad score illegal fireworks? ■ All this and more in this explosive episode!

I dig the 4^th of July. I dig Fireworks. I dig… America.

This episode is about all of the above. And a certain 4^th of July I celebrated back on Long Island some time ago. And the infamous Death Bomb.

Almost every time I write these show notes, I think of something I wish I had said in the show. Maybe that’s why I say it here.

Fireworks are a guy thing. Guys love to blow shit up. Make things go boom and bang. And the continued assault on fireworks is an extension of the war on men. There’s no doubt about it. All I see at this time of year are Facebook and Twitter posts from angry females (and males with women’s heads) – bitching about fireworks. And they almost always contain this phrase “ leave it to the professionals!” Fuck them.

I bet if you had sex with any of those women, you would wish you had bedded a professional instead. Because they are all finger-wagging, fun-loathing, uptight, pissed off creatures whose sole mission in life is to make life… a living death. No bad words, no loud noises, no booze, no BBQ, no dirty jokes, just sit at your desk with your hands folded and stare straight ahead and take your medication, you obstreperous, childish male. Nurse Ratchets – that’s what they are. They should be thrown in the Piss Tank. What’s the Piss tank? I explained it fully in a prior episode. When I pinpoint it, I’ll let you know here. 

Part of the fun of fireworks is the packaging. The Chinese artwork is almost as loud as the explosions. And I love it, Check these out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy 4^th of July. Destroy all Commies. God Bless America.

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What are verbal knuckle-balls? ■ How are ordinary words weaponized? ■ Who is weaponzing words? ■ How is academia dumbing down America? ■ What recording should be on your phone as an auto-response to anyone who says,“I’m offended?” ■ What is the first tenet of every dojo? ■ What constitutes a real crisis? ■ Once you hear this episode, you’ll never listen to pols the same way again!

Fight Commies – Support That LARRY SHOW!

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