Episode 340: That LARRY SHOW’s 5th Birthday Party

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A Bacchanalian Birthday Bash of TLS lore and reveals ▲ Thank-yous and shout outs from Larry to every Dojo member ▲ Come hang at the secret club for the coolest party ever with the best crew anywhere — you!

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Technically, its an anniversary. But I’ve never liked that word. It often appears in shitty contexts. 9/11 anniversary, Hiroshima anniversary, stuff like that. Birthdays are festive, anniversaries can be gloomy.

This episode was a bitch to produce. Combing through a massive archive of cold openings, comedy sketches and schtick for your amusement. I hope I selected the very best.

Getting all those elements to record properly was tough. It’s not easy mic-ing the secret panel in the Take No Shit dojo that leads to that fantastic club in back. It looks a lot like this… except it’s filled with cool people – you.

In this episode, I promised to post the video that I made for the song I wrote and performed, “Scandal Claus is Coming to Town.”

At the time I created in it 2017, there was a blizzard of celeb cancellations due to “sexual misconduct” allegations. They ranged from Louis CK beating his bishop with an audience to never-funny fuckface Al Franken copping (or pretending to cop) feels off women to Weinstein’s criminality.

In only four short years, the “that’s offensive to me” crowd has arrived at the place they always wanted to be – outlawed speech. Jeff Garlin (whom I’ve only seen in Curb Your Enthusiasm) seems about to be canceled. His offense was using the word vagina on a set. That’s it. He touched no one. But the word made somebody “uncomfortable.”

That’s where we are now, folks. Free speech is dead. The only way to reverse this trend is with a sci-fi fix.

Someone must invent a Magic Free Speech Restoration Baton – like a cop’s night-stick. When somebody – ANYBODY – complains that a mere word offends them – the magic baton materializes out of nowhere and smashes the offended one’s teeth down their throat, leaving them dazed, bloody and permanently disfigured. Sort of like this, except the blow is to the mouth.