Episode 375: Run Faster, Jump Higher

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PF Flyers or Keds?“Shock-proof Arch” or “Action Wedge?”Why stupid people (of all ages) like clownsHow New Balance resurrected PF Flyers and destroyed them with one lousy adWhy Labor Day is a Commie holiday and should be re-named ■ The punishment for adults who rob children of childhood

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Call the Take No Shit Dojo 302 – 71 – LARRY

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This episode is kind of an allegory. Sure it’s about summer and being a kid and sneakers (Keds vs. PF Flyers).

But there are other levels.

KEDS’ TV pitch was pandering and and an insult to kids.

Watch this clown shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Op3uz24dqXw

The only part of the script not recorded was where the clown says “hey, little idiots, are you buying this bullshit?”

Which is why I never liked KEDS sneakers.

Here’s a commercial for PF Flyers:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzlc10YlV9s

Live action. On location. No cheesy animation. Secret agents. Spies. De-coder rings. Dogs with messages. If after all that, you choose the KEDS clown, you deserve a shitty life.

Back in 2017, somebody at New Balance had the very smart idea of reviving the PF Flyer brand, but then some jackhole at the ad agency stepped in and created this abortion of a commercial:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrcjRoIBK7s

Doesn’t it suck? Yes it does. It may be the worst commercial ever made. Look at that shitty artwork. Listen to that shitty copy. Listen to that dipshit announcer’s monotone delivery. If anyone (myself included) had an idea of buying a new pair of PF Flyers, it was extinguished by that hideous commercial.

For me (me at age 6,7,8,9,10,11), sneakers were a calendar I wore on my feet. By this time each summer the extreme wear on the sneakers told me summer was almost over. That was a scary thought.

How scary?

Listen to the show.

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