Truth lives at That LARRY SHOW, a weekly sojourn at the crossroads of madness and enlightenment. With LARRY in your life, you'll Take No Sh*t, and laugh your way to victory.
ACTUAL RECORDING! – S.O.S. call from Trudeau to his mommy! ▲ The secret reason the world is upside-down ▲ How to end abuse from gubmnt and corporations▲ How to get a CEO fired ▲ Hear Larry beat T-Mobile… step-by-step ▲ The coming judgment day that has tyrants terrified
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Larry kicks James Carville’s punk/ASTCO ass ▲ How politician/parasites are destroying the world ▲ The looming hyper-inflation crisis ▲ What a TRILLION dollars means now ▲ How JOeeey may destroy America ▲ Why moron pols – from LBJ to Nixon, Bush and JOeey – start wars ▲ New song parody: “Teach Your Sheeple” ▲ Why Canadian Truckers LOVE Larry
Neil Young: ASTCO/air-guitar virtuoso/chooch ▲ Larry re-boots Neil’s big hit as “Heart of Compliance” ▲Why furries are cooler than lapel-pin pols ▲ How to put a stop to political lapel pins ▲How did Larry predict Charlie Brown’s suicide – 5 years in advance!?!?▲ What Joe Rogan should have told Neil Young ▲ How to end censorship ▲ You want answers? Larry’s got ’em!
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First things first – here’s the video for Heart of Compliance
Since this episode was recorded, more fossilized hippies have backed Kneel Young’s anti-free speech play. I’d mention their names, but you’ve probably never heard of them. They’re ignorant ASTCOs. Assholes Seeking To Control Others – the scourge of the plant since time immemorial. Fuck ’em all.
Fed up with ASTCOs?
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Larry sees a beer can almost kill a woman ▲ The hardhat who became a shish kebab ▲ The hot-air balloon ride of doom ▲ Do losers make bad luck or does bad luck make losers? ▲ How author Jack London made his own shitty luck ▲ How one woman won FOUR multi-million dollar lottery jackpots – AND YOU CAN TOO!▲ Wanna change your luck? THIS is your episode!
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A friend from Larry’s past reveals the KEY TO LIFE ▲ How DOOM PREVENTION became America’s largest industry ▲ How politicians leverage doom to control you ▲ Did the Beatles really write their own songs? ▲ The black box in Tasmania built to record the end of the world
Meet JAB-MAN, the 84 year-old with ELEVEN jabs!▲ Why the Covid orthodoxy is doomed ▲ How Cuomo evaded prosecution for 15,000 nursing home deaths ▲ What politician/parasites are doing NOW to cover their guilty asses ▲How many COVID deaths were caused by BIDEN’s lies?▲TRANSLATED: BIDEN’s 1/6 speech of deceit and division
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LARRY PREDICTS: 2022’s HOTTEST Covid fashion accessory ▲ HEARJOeeey flip–flop and BLAME ▲ SEE: JOeeey walk like a MUMMY!▲ LAUGH: at America’s previous mass psychosis ▲ DISCOVER: Larry’s SAFETY MANDATE!
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How to avoid New Year’s disappointment ▲ Why NYC is the LAST place to be on New Year’s – or ever ▲ DISCOVERED – a white elephant in the Mojave desert! ▲ Why New Year’s is the holiday that should be eliminated ▲ You KNOW you hate New Year’s – dig this episode and know you are NOT alone!
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Most people think of deserts as barren wastelands. In fact, they host a wide array of wildlife, most visibly, the WHITE ELEPHANT. Some pipe dreams go up in smoke if the busted entrepreneur has the desperation to torch it for insurance. But insurance companies have gotten adept at exposing that chicanery. Most times, broke pipe dreamers just sell whatever crap they can and leave the building to rot.
Once in a great while, desert pipe dreams come true – like Las Vegas. But it’s always at a price. Bugsy Siegel – a true desert visionary, ironically was shot through the eye.
Why do deserts draw pipe dreamers and wantrepeneurs? Because the land is cheap. Its cheap because in summer, the desert is fucking unlivable, at least in daylight. Same as most of Florida. (IMHO, Florida is worse because humidity sucks.)
When exploring the fringes of the Mojave, you see many, many white elephants. Tropical themed motels, space alien/flying saucer restaurants, shit like that. They sit for decades, vandalized, baking in the sun, silently mocking the pipe dreamers who birthed them.
Once in a while, you get to see a White Elephant being born. .
White Elephant (in stainless steel)
There were about 4 dozen trailers like that, pretty much ass-to-cheek, scattered around a flat and unremarkable parcel of land off route 62, a main road in the high desert, also known as 29 Palms Highway. There isn’t much up there but strip malls and swap meets, motels and meth labs. Somebody obviously thinks people will want to go “glamping” in those Airstream trailers. Seems like a shit-headed idea. Especially in June, July and August, when temperatures in the area average 100 degrees, every fucking day. It will be interesting to see how well the HVAC in those unshaded metal tubes combat the merciless Mojave sun.
Desert people are a hardy breed. They don’t give a fuck what the neighbors think – like this guy.
Just across the street, was a pathetic little lawn sign, stuck in the dry dirt of a small tract home. It said – no, it whimpered…Biden-Harris.
A lot of people up there think they’re artists. Some are. Some just have a knack for scavenging weird shit and arranging it in interesting ways.
Like this disarmed matador. If a bull charges him, he’s fucked – or at a minimum, gored.
There’s a little “art colony” up there that co-opted the Dairy Queen logo. Not sure what that means artistically, but its the desert. Nobody really gives a shit.
Any trash can be art. Like this. I’ve seen far worse at NY’s Guggenheim with a 7-figure price on it. Aesthetics are in the eye of the beholder… or the pretentious art critic/whore.
Anything can be a museum, and is. A bottle-cap collection or those poodle themed crocheted ass-wipe roll covers your grandma – or great grandma used to make. Behold, the World Famous Crochet Museum.
Of all the Art Queen offerings, the next one is best, because it actually does something. You can pop in there and get a hair-do and check out everything having to do with hair. My wife and daughters love the place and the owner, Jeff Hafler, is a really nice guy. I highly recommend you visit the Beauty Bubble when in Joshua Tree. If you do, tell Jeff hello from the guy who asked about Spoolies. He’ll remember.
JOeeeey! Revealed as not only a demented, deceitful career politician, but a certifiable psycho ▲ Hear JOeeeey shoot himself in the foot – repeatedly ▲ DISCOVER how JOeeey and his minions are leveraging OMICRON into their political platform ▲ ACQUIRE – the greatest piece of TLS show merch yet – the LUTFA flexible magnetic sticker!▲HEAR the greatest Christmas story ever told
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A Bacchanalian Birthday Bash of TLS lore and reveals ▲ Thank-yous and shout outs from Larry to every Dojo member ▲ Come hang at the secret club for the coolest party ever with the best crew anywhere — you!
Technically, its an anniversary. But I’ve never liked that word. It often appears in shitty contexts. 9/11 anniversary, Hiroshima anniversary, stuff like that. Birthdays are festive, anniversaries can be gloomy.
This episode was a bitch to produce. Combing through a massive archive of cold openings, comedy sketches and schtick for your amusement. I hope I selected the very best.
Getting all those elements to record properly was tough. It’s not easy mic-ing the secret panel in the Take No Shit dojo that leads to that fantastic club in back. It looks a lot like this… except it’s filled with cool people – you.
In this episode, I promised to post the video that I made for the song I wrote and performed, “Scandal Claus is Coming to Town.”
At the time I created in it 2017, there was a blizzard of celeb cancellations due to “sexual misconduct” allegations.They ranged from Louis CK beating his bishop with an audience to never-funny fuckface Al Franken copping (or pretendingto cop) feels off women to Weinstein’s criminality.
In only four short years, the “that’s offensive to me” crowd has arrived at the place they always wanted to be – outlawed speech. Jeff Garlin (whom I’ve only seen in Curb Your Enthusiasm) seems about to be canceled. His offense was using the word vagina on a set. That’s it. He touched no one. But the word made somebody “uncomfortable.”
That’s where we are now, folks. Free speech is dead. The only way to reverse this trend is with a sci-fi fix.
Someone must invent a Magic Free Speech Restoration Baton – like a cop’s night-stick. When somebody – ANYBODY – complains that a mere word offends them – the magic baton materializes out of nowhere and smashes the offended one’s teeth down their throat, leaving them dazed, bloody and permanently disfigured. Sort of like this, except the blow is to the mouth.
Then, a voice from somewhere says “There ya go, asshole. Now you’ve REALLY been offended.”
If that happened a few times, was recorded on video that went viral, free speech would be restored.
See you next week.
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