Truth lives at That LARRY SHOW, a weekly sojourn at the crossroads of madness and enlightenment. With LARRY in your life, you'll Take No Sh*t, and laugh your way to victory.
How Marxism is destroying America ▲ Why the hive hates you ▲ How many .22 caliber shots does it take to shred a hornet’s nest? ▲ Why the hive loves the words manifesto, mandate and together ▲How the pandemic has been leveraged to tear America apart ▲ Why the migration away from hive strongholds will be futile ▲ If you love America, you need this episode — and pesticides!
What’s more important – career or pointy chicks? ♦ Why is the FCC regulating bike bells? ♦ How did “be safe” replace “no guts, no glory?” ♦How did risk management become a career? ♦ What 3 things should you do before re-locating? ♦ Why must travel be a critical part of your life? ♦ What thing should be your life’s compass? ♦ Listen to this episode and conquer fear!
UNCOVERED: The poker table in the desert where space aliens play 5-Card Draw ▲ LOCATED: All the crap in the world ▲ DEFINED: The difference between crap and shit ▲ REVEALED: # of days we waste searching for misplaced crap ▲ EXPLAINED: Why the Mojave lures beings from other galaxies ▲ CURATED: Doll-Head Art — what is it and where can you buy some – cheap? ▲ UNLOCKED: every mystery, in this very special episode!
Is a picture worth a thousand words? If it’s DaVinci’s Salvator Mundi, which fetched $450 million at auction, hell yeah...a thousand words in 24 karat gold. Da Vinci aside, even the most clever wordsmith can’t compete with the truth and brevity of un-doctored photograph.
In this Part 2 of Call of the Weird, come traipse with me through the Sky Village Swap Mee (sic)–
Swapmee!
See – an image of the sign says it better than I ever could. Kind of like that old Henny Youngman joke – take my wife… please! Since the Mojave is reputed to be an interstellar travel depot, perhaps that sign is a clever allegory – swap MEE for one of your fellow alien beings and take me the fuck off this planet! A lot of people share that desperate sentiment. How do I know?
I’m one of them.
We have our own secret signals and handshakes. In fact, handshaking is one of the most obvious. If someone wants to shake my hand, I’ll shake. Fuck Fauci. He’s a liar and a punk and is criminally culpable for a lot of awful things. His felonious fuckery dates back to the dawn of the AIDS crisis in the 80s. Informed people hate him. With good reason.
Another covert communique is walking around in the great out-doors bare-faced. When we Daredevilspass each other on hiking trails or sidewalks, we smile knowingly. And we can see each other smile. Imagine that.
We also see the signals from those Safety Firsters who are quite happy with this planet’s current state of irrational fear and mindless, twitch-muscle obedience to self-proclaimed “experts…” big Pharma scumbags, social media tycoons and gubmnt douche-bags. Like NY’s Cuomo and California’s Newsom. Cuomo should be sharing a cell with Fauci and Newsom should be bitch-slapped so hard, his hair-do comes undone.
When the Safety Firsters leave their basements, their rheumy, vitamin D-depleted eyes throw hate bombs at us Daredevils’ naked faces. They silently wish their orbs could generate a death ray like General Zod in Superman II. Which is why I always wear mirrored shades. Right back atcha! Sometimes they cross the street rather than cross our paths. I’m good with that.
At the Sky Village Swap Mee, the signage is a lot more serious about masking than the vendors are. In fact, the vendors appear to be serious about nothing. Just look at the orderly display of their inventory.
Crap from here to the horizon.
Some vendors call themselves “artisans” rather than artists. Of course, 3 syllables is always better than two, especially when you’re slinging bullshit. Besides tie-dyed apparel and taffy twist hash pipes, they output a lot of what I call Doll Head Art. Why doll heads? Because they really amp-up the creep factor. Just as Alice Cooper.
Doll Head Art – get some NOW!
And what is the fascination with toilets?
When in doubt, add a toilet.
Does your yard look unremarkable? Make it stand out, with a life size, rusty IRON STAGECOACH. You’ll be the talk of the town. Best of all, the neighbors who hate it… cannot burn it or break it. Only a crew with acetylene torches can make it go away.
US Park Rangers claim these are ancient petroglyphs. That’s bullshit. They’re emojis.
In the high desert, the message is… there is no message.
There is no message. not now, not ever.
How much would you pay for this? Okay, how much would you demand to haul it to a dump?
Sex Magick in the Mojave – how Scientology’s founder and the father of the U.S. space program teamed up to conjure the demon whore of Babalon ▌The INTEGRATRON – the dome in the desert that’s a time machine ▌The dinosaurs that guard Palm Springs ▌How today’s tech is tomorrow’s landfill ▌The last big idea mankind will ever have ▌Want to know the future? Listen!
People ask me why I can’t stay away from the desert. I’ve never had an adequate answer. But I just flashed on the perfect response. There was a best selling book – Why Men Love Bitches. That’s why the desert turns me on. As biomes go, it’s one raging, sexy bitch.
For some years, I lived at the beach on the South shore of Long Island. Not near the beach – AT the beach. I’d step outside and my feet were in sand. Loved it. There was a jetty nearby, with a hole on the bottom that was a fish condo. Any time I wanted, I’d bait a hook, zip it into the hole – presto – fresh fish dinner. The sea is a generous place. It will feed you, float you, toss you around like a playful father.
Then, there are those other beaches – the waterless ones. My favorite is the Mojave. 48,000 square miles of water-less beach. Vultures instead of sea gulls. Scorpions and rattlesnakes instead of fish. The Mojave should be renamed, NATIVES ONLY.
The desert is not inclusive. It is extremely exclusive. Only homies are welcome. Visitors can visit, but watch where you step. And if you over stay, the desert won’t politely hint that you should leave, it will try to kill you. It needs no fences or walls to keep out invaders.
The desert – specifically the Mojave desert, is locus of the weird and nutty. Aren’t crazy chicks always the hottest? Like calls to like, and so I guess I must be off my chooch as well.
Here are some images from the high desert.
Who is this Joshua dude that they should name the trees after him?A private Calvary.Whore of Babylon that Parsons and Hubbard tried to locate. Who can blame them? She’s pointy AFEverything mulches.Trunkless heads in a trunk.
Gender Reveal Parties – a ticket to the morgue? ▲Why do parents think people care about their kid’s sex? ▲ Why did Larry lock himself in a toilet for a day? ▲ The reasons most parties suck ▲ Why all parties, forever, will be masquerades ▲ 3 party foods that will gag a maggot ▲ When Larry likes blindfolds ▲ This episode can save your life!
How did America get to be so stupid? ■ Larry wins an argument and loses a girlfriend ■ America’s intellectual bar is set by Barney, the purple dinosaur ■ Why JFK enrages stateists ■ HUGE lies the government is telling you ■ Chicom nukes are headed your way – you’re gonna love ’em! ■ The Great Reset we all should embrace ■ What do Larry and Fran Lebowitz agree on?
They (schools, the military, places like NASA) used to be consumed with measuring intelligence. Lots of guys got wealthy selling their copyrighted IQ tests. People who claimed to have high IQs would gloat over them and join clubs where they could commune with others like themselves – MENSA and so on.
Intelligence doesn’t seem to be prized much anymore.
2021 America would be better served with a test that measures stupidity. Which, by the way, has become another word verboten by those calling themselves “educators.” They don’t like the word stupid and they don’t like the word teacher anymore. Educator has twice as many syllables, so it must be two times better, right?
Wrong. It’s fucking pretentious. Same as a garbage collector calling himself a sanitation engineer or a plumber calling himself a hydration distribution technician or a policeman calling himself a law enforcement officer. Same pretentious bullshit, three different vocations.
One of my kids was admonished for using the word stupid – not in reference to another person, (which is fine by me) but it was in reference to some inanimate object. Teacher told my kid the word stupid is a “bad word” and not to use it.
I’d say she was a bad teacher, but she wasn’t. She was a stupid teacher. And in an unwitting way, an evil teacher. Teachers’ jobs are to enlighten and educate, not to force their biases and PC beliefs on students. Just the facts, teachers, just the facts. Keep your fucking shadings and opinions to yourselves.
America is getting progressively more stupid. Besides teachers, who else is to blame? The media. They’ve become a lot like many teachers. Facts and knowledge are subordinate to opinions and feelings. They should stop calling it news. Call it what it is – opinions and feelings.
All this stupidity portends doom for America. I can’t think of a single politician who isn’t stupid. From either party. Not one. Not good.
Some dead politicians were pretty damn smart. Like JFK. Love him or hate him, nobody could say he was stupid.
Here’s a link to one of his speeches, delivered at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in 1961. Much of it would go right over the heads of teleprompter – reading mannequins that call themselves journalists.
Bruce Springsteen: Born to Pose ■ Why are advertising execs dumber than worms? ■ Why celebrity endorsements always suck ■ Springsteen’s sequel to Born To Run – revealed! ■ WTF is a “sustainable mobility solution?” Jeep’s parent company a European clown show, has the answer ■ If you’re fed up with phony people, companies and causes, THIS is your episode!
The Jeep commercial that ran in Superbowl 2021, may be the most moronic, deceitful 2 minutes of piffle ever recorded. It’s in-your-face bullshit and hypocrisy. To craft hypocrisy, you need a hypocrite.
Bruuuuuuce!
Brett Michaels wants his faux cowboy hat back.
Rock stars need 2 things to succeed. 1) Talent, and 2) luck.
The smart ones – the ones who are truly self aware, NEVER lose sight of #2.
I’ve seen unknown axe – men in dive bars who could play Clapton off the stage. Heard vocalists that could fill in for… you name them – Freddy Mercury, Steve Perry, Sammy Hagar – and no one would know the difference.
Springsteen has a good rock rasp.
So do a million other guys.
He’s a decent guitarist, but he ain’t great. And that’s okay – he’s a front man – that’s why he hires great guitarists.
He has written many fantastic songs. Irrefutable.
When some people remain successful decade after decade, they forget the luck element. They take themselves verrry seriously. They think they crap Bon-Bons. They confuse popularity with importance.
Rock Stars are not important. Ever. Nobody needs them. Nice to have around, but utterly unnecessary.
He’s terrible because he’s so fucking far out of his own wheelhouse. It would be as silly as if he walked into an operating room, grabbed the scalpel out of the surgeon’s hand and said “I’ll take it from here, Doc.”
After that crap ran on the Superbowl and racked up 40 million YouTube views, it came out that Bruce was pinched by NJ cops for DWI. Only a two and a half months earlier. It’s not a stretch to speculate that prep and negotiations for his appearance in the Jeep ad were in progress at the time of his arrest.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
A Superbowl commercial with a mega Rock Star doesn’t happen in an hour or a day or even weeks. There were endless agents and managers and FUCKTONS of lawyers involved, and nobody ever thought to ask him if he had any skeletons in his closet? And it never occurred to Springsteen to mention it? He either has brain damage, or his ego is so swollen, he didn’t think it would matter. After all, he’s THE BOSS, right?
It’s all very funny, because everyone involved in the debacle deserved exactly what they got. Beginning with the parent company of Jeep, a PC clown-show Dutch outfit called Stellantis.
Look at their video. It would give an SJW a spontaneous orgasm. It nearly made me puke. Everything about it is deceptive and phony and cowardly. They lack the balls to say they make cars, so they call them “sustainable mobility solutions.”
Why are Bass Pro Shops America’s cultural divide?▲ What’s the real reason coastal elites hate Classic America? ▲ How did cowboys go from heroes to villains? ▲ Can anyone eat a 72 oz. steak dinner in under an hour? ▲ Did Casey Jones really crash his train or was he set up? ▲ Why Nashville is way cooler than L.A. ▲ What does Larry have in common with Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz? ▲ ALL IS REVEALED, in the 4th part of the Road Trip Redux
Look at that picture. It says so much, probably more than the artist knew. It’s the back plate of a “make a souvenir “ machine at the Big Texan in Amarillo.
The artwork depicts a bygone era. Why not present day? The Chevy impala is maybe a 1962. Why not a late model Honda Accord? Of course, the Chevy is a fuckton cooler looking than any Honda. (Has there ever been a cool Honda?)
But it’s more than that. It’s not even sub textual.
HOME OF THE FREE? What a quaint, retro and false statement.
In the 1980’s, Reagan said it was morning in America. According to make a souvenir, it’s sunset it America. And that machine is probably 20 years old.
It’s fucking midnight, folks.
Still, the Big Texan delivers what it promises. A diversion from the shit-show that is 21st Century America.
If you can inhale a 72 ounce steak dinner in less than an hour, it’s on the house. Here is that dinner. Could yo do it?
Well, Molly Schuyler did. Man up!
I finally got to see the inside of a Bass Pro Shop.
If you want to rid America of all soyboys, SJWs, snowflakes and Coastal Elites, lure them into Bass Pro Shops and bar the doors. Within 5 minutes, they’ll spontaneously combust.
A very quiet, sustainable, never smelly zoo., Courtesy of Bass Pro Shops.Kiddie camo. Cute as a deer slug!
Who knew Casey Jones was not a myth, but an historical figure? I do, now that I’ve visited his Village, in Jackson Tennessee.
I like it there.
Didn’t buy any Holy Tea. I’m good with Earl Grey.
Time marches on. This Tesla charging station is across from Casey Jones’ doomed locomotive #382. (BTW, 382 adds up to 13.)
As if 1.5 million podcasts worldwide aren’t enough, now politicians are doing them. And they SUCK! In this first ever crossover show between That LARRY SHOW and Who Are These Podcasts, (hosted by the fabulous Karl) we double-team some very big game – Pete Buttigieg, Ted Cruz and Hillary Clinton! Listen for yourself and see why they earned every insult, barb and snarky remark.
.Meet the VEAL people ▲The Great Reset – why it’s a Commie plot ▲ How SJWs & snowflakes made JFK a villain ▲ What will Duke Nukem say to you? ▲ The lethal cure that can save America ▲ Why easy times make weak men – and women ▲ What made the greatest generation great?
