That LARRY SHOW

Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com

Call the Take No Shit Dojo: 302-71-larry

Episode 252: Why Safety Is Dangerous

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The four elements that make suckers suckers ■ Coronavirus: the new marketing platform that should piss you off ■ Why corporate America loves stupid and lazy consumers ■ Corporations we should hate ■ How they insult our intelligence ■ Larry’s advertising epiphany ■ How X-ray specs made somebody rich and jackasses out of every buyer ■ The ‘solar-powered clothes dryer’ and the venerable con-man who created it ■ Glossary of lies politicians use to dupe voters ■

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Of course we’re all sick of the Kung Flu, Wuhan Virus, Corona virus – gotta call it by all its names, don’t we? Yes we do. But what’s making it even worse? Corporate America. Try to find a company website that doesn’t have some phony “we care” tag line or virtue signaling paragraph about how much they’re doing to help the cause.

They’re all full of shit.

Like Honda.

Look at this.

Together? If that woman and/or her kid gets sick, will Honda send a nurse to their home? Or pick up the medical bills? Exactly what does Honda mean by “together?”

They’re bragging because they donated $1 million dollars to some virus effort. Last year, Honda grossed $143 billion. Wow.

But most are just as fake as Honda. I’d hold Honda in much higher esteem of they gave nothing to any Corona virus charity, but stopped pushing their phony “we care” narrative. It’s repulsive. It’s insulting.

In a matter of weeks, corporations have shifted from enviro-saints to virus-saints and I’m not buying any of it.

When this pandemic has passed, they’ll go right back to their enviro-pitch or whatever cause they think excites people who believe in…bullshit.

Gotta give props to Apple. I’m not a fan of their stuff, but there’s not a word about the virus on their page.

I’m liking Coke even better. Pointy chicks (look at the smile on that knockout on the left!) and they’re not even social distancing!

Ford doesn’t give a shit about Corona either.

Ford sells cars and trucks. Not diseases.

This ad tells everything you need to know about most consumers. Listen to the episode for details.

And fuck Honda.

Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com

Call the Take No Shit Dojo: 302-71-larry

Episode 251: Why Is Jesus On Lock-down? (Sinners’ Sunday #74)

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In old Rome, early Christians had to assemble in secrecy, Today, Easter Sunday, 2020, the same thing is happening.

Who has the right say who or what is… essential?

Write to Brother Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com

Call the Sinners’ Sunday Chapel: 302-71-larry

Bonus Episode 34: Sean, Un-Dicked

Meet the other Sean. Listen, as he opens up on: Dick, History, Music, Corona, His Childhood, Fatherhood, Actors, Hollywood, The Recording Industry, 007, Prima Donnas, Kids, The Future, Life, Death and more.

Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com

Call the Take No Shit Dojo: 302-71-larry

Episode 250: Making Lemonade in a Crisis

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Why quarantine is the gift you must not waste ▲ How to squeeze opportunity from crisis ▲ Ways not to assault your family/roomies during quarantine ▲ Binge watching or self improvement – which is right for you? ▲ Why lock-down is a stupid, stupid word ▲ Why the media wants you fat, dumb and scared ▲ Where and how fortunes will be made from the pandemic ▲ This episode is your pathway to prosperity – don’t miss it!

Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com

Call the Take No Shit Dojo: 302-71-larry

Episode 249: Pandemic of Lies

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To mask or not to mask? THEY’VE BEEN LYING TO YOU! ▼ Are you essential? ▼ Are you expendable? ▼ Lies they are telling you ▼ Your survival checklist ▼ What’s the true safe measure for social distancing? ▼ What South Korea did and why it worked ▼ How politicians are exploiting this pandemic for a power grab ▼ Larry names names and calls out the liars – in the most important episode ever.

Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com

Call the Take No Shit Dojo: 302-71-larry

Episode 248: The Big Reset / Upsides of the Pandemic

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Larry’s future-cast: CHEAP college tuition ● Macho men reclaim their birthright ● Soy-boys and snowflakes sent to the back of the line ● Hugs and handshakes are over and why that’s a good thing ● Humor returns to comedy ● Why you shouldn’t believe experts ● A true and classic Larry NY tale explaining the way of the universe ● The pandemic glossary you’ll love to hate ● How Britney Spears’ cans predicted 9/11 ● This is THE feel-good podcast of the pandemic!

Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com

Call the Take No Shit Dojo: 302-71-larry

Episode 247: Don’t Be Afraid! (Sinners’ Sunday #73)

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The fear-mongers want you terrified. This is how to stay cool and strong.

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Write to Brother Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com

Call the Sinners’ Sunday Chapel: 302-71-larry

Episode 246: Tony Spumonte Returns!

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What happens when Tony and Larry meet a man with a rifle on a dark mountain road? ♠ Tony wises Larry up ♠ Larry discovers there’s more to chicks than pointiness ♠ Tony goes cowboy and regrets it ♠ What are Mummers, and how did they drive Tony crazy? ♠ Tony predicts Larry’s future, years in advance ♠ Come along with Tony, Larry and their pointy chicks for an adventure in the Poconos!

Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com

Call the Take No Shit Dojo: 302-71-larry

Episode 245: How to Thrive in the Vortex of Doom

DOWNLOAD THE MP3 HERE

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What time is displayed on the Doomsday Clock? ▲ Discover the FUN method of execution everyone’s talking about, ‘Blown From A Gun!’▲ How to stop worrying and start loving the Corona virus ▲ What is the Vortex of Doom and how can you profit from it? ▲ An eyewitness account of a “Blown From A Gun” execution ▲ Why Daffy Duck and Road Runner kicked Mickey & Minnie’s asses ▲ Calm your fears and laugh at danger, in this devil-may-care episode!

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Poet Robbie Burns first mentioned man’s inhumanity to man. And no matter how fucking civilized we may think we are, that bloodthirsty savage isn’t too far from the surface.

Witness this:

He looks serene for a man about out o be blown up.

Above is some dude, probably guilty of no more than fighting for the wrong side, about to be disintegrated in a most graphic, efficient and intimidating fashion. It was called “blown by a gun,” and it was all the rage in colonial India. The Brits did not invent it, but they embraced it with both arms and a ramrod. Being the masters of PR they have been for centuries, here’s the sanitized rendering by the Crown:

Doesn’t look too nasty at all, does it.

Never a nation to let a crisis go to waste, the UK blamed the Irish potato famine in full for a million Micks dead by starvation. In fact, most died because the genteel Brits blockaded their ports. The victors do write (and paint) history.

By the way, I can say Mick, because despite my Teutonic surname, I am a Mick – about 95%, so if anyone finds my use of Mick offensive, they can pogue mahone.

This Corona virus thing is being used much like the potato famine. I’m not big on conspiracy theories, but the media is, without question – spreading panic to crash the U.S. (i.e. the world’s) economy, which will make Commie lies and politicians attractive to mouth-breathing fools who think the gulag is a dance craze.

But even in the worst of times, some people manage to live well, even large, so why not you?

The stock market may plunge, but, contrary to the desires of Commie scum (and they’re ALL scum) it will not evaporate. Many of the richest assholes on earth ARE Commies – Soros and Putin to name two. Although Putin is really up the in the stratosphere with a net worth in the $60 billion range. He must have swung that hammer and sickle really hard.

So if you have any spare jing, buy stocks. It’s pretty much a no-brainer.

Here’s the guy who inspired the title of this episode, with the term doom vortex. His white board is a little confusing. But what matters is, he’s having fun, even in the doom vortex.

Hope you do, too.