Truth lives at That LARRY SHOW, a weekly sojourn at the crossroads of madness and enlightenment. With LARRY in your life, you'll Take No Sh*t, and laugh your way to victory.
How to stage your own comeback♠ Hitting your way out of a slump ♠ The 2 elements of career success (hard work ain’t one of them!) ♠ How to tune up your ego – without spending a cent ♠ How much should you lie on your resume? ♠ How do winners rebound from failure? ♠ Success secrets of Hollywood sharks ♠ What to do when you feel like you’ve blown it ♠ Why “hero-worship” is for idiots
Brother Larry makes you think the thought you’ve been terrified of your entire life ●10 words that summarize JC’s purpose ● What does the Sphinx needing a nose job have to do with Easter? ● Why the term “JC Solid” should replace “Rock solid.”● The single word that life is all about ● Why is Easter the ultimate survival tool, and how can you use it to make your life fantastic ● All this and more in the most powerful Sinners’ Sunday yet!
The pandemic they’ve been hiding has arrived and is now spreading through the USA ▼ It was foretold to Larry decades ago ▼ There is no antibiotic that can treat it ▼ In most cases, death occurs within 90 days ▼ It lives on any surface for months and cannot be killed by disinfectants ▼ Entire wings of hospitals have been demolished due to infection ▼ It’s not a virus nor a bacteria – what is it? ▼ Listen, if you dare…
The secret that helps you survive any breakup ♦ The “good-boy/manlet safety” app that protects you from #metoo ♦Is #metoo the death knell of our species? ♦ Why are fewer 18-34’s hooking up than ever before? ♦ What’s “hairplug Joe” Biden got to do with all this? ♦ What to do when you get dumped flat ♦ Where are some great places to meet women? ♦ All this and more in Bonus Episode 27 – a must hear for everyone!
3 words that enable scam artists to screw you (or you to screw others) ■ How Elizabeth Holmes conned presidents, statesmen and titans of industry (and you can, TOO!) ■ Secrets of scam success ■ Scam red flags ■ Tuning up your bullsh*t detector ■ Famous “world changers” who should have been killed ■ How participation trophy culture produced Elizabeth Holmes
Where are the space aliens hiding among us? ▲ What do they look like? Answer: Like UPS men with Pit Bull dog heads ▲ Do they eat beef jerky?▲ Why do they love doing anal probes? ▲ How to prevent an anal probe ▲ Why do aliens depict Santa as half -dressed and drunk? ▲ Why do they depict Jesus standing on baby heads? ▲ What are Atonemints, and do they really freshen breath as they remove sin? ▲ Did Dorothy have sex with the Scarecrow?▲ Which soda flavor tastes better, Martian Poop or Alien Snot?
These two reptiles might look cute, but they also might be here to wrest control of Earth from us bipeds. Many people believe that aliens aren’t just visiting in their little saucers, but rather, have been here for decades and walk among us. Some also believe those aliens are reptiles in human disguise.
Some other people believe aliens look like this:
That would be the opinion of a woman in Kissimmee, Florida, who described her alien visitor as “around 6’ 3”, 220, wearing a form-fitting tan colored uniform, boots and gloves.” His head was more like what’s pictured here. It does sound like an intergalactic UPS man, doesn’t it?
In this episode, I uncover the truth behind aliens, at least those who live among us. Immigrants tend to toil in the businesses of their predecessors. Lots of Irish used to operate pubs in New York. In L.A., Filipinos often operate old folks homes. And from sea-to-shining-sea, roadside attractions are owned and operated by aliens from another galaxy.
How do I know? With one visit to Charlie Brown Farms in the Antelope Valley of Southern California. The Antelope Valley has no “Housewives of.” The Kardashians have never been there – probably never heard of it. It’s in a place called the “high desert.” High as in altitude and high as in mountains o’ meth. But not at Charlie Brown Farms. Their inventory will take you on a trip industrial – strength LSD could not.
How would this likeness of Duke Wayne look, tucked between your foosball and Pong machines? (It’s only $660 – 50% off!)
Was there sub-textual creepiness going on in the Wizard of Oz? Clearly, this artisan thinks so.
Thirsty? Have a swig of the local brew – imported from a few galaxies east of this one.
Have you been stressed of late? Tense, ready to snap? With this psycho killer clown on your breakfast table egging you on, you’ll hasten your destiny and those of your victims. The voices he’ll put in you head will not be ignored. Pass the salt and the chain-saw, please.
Aliens know more than we do. They see past Sanitized Santa and are drinking buddies with the real McCoy – a perpetually loaded reprobate who lives in North Miami Beach where the only poles are the ones in the strip joints he hangs out at. Here is Authentic Santa:
Lastly, Aliens do some serious traveling; not the Mickey Mouse distances we traverse. So they leave nothing to chance, including their women. Here’s a cast-iron chastity belt for the serendipitous price of $69.
Gotta go now. I’m racing in the Saturn 500. It’s not an oval, track, it’s a circle. On the rings of Saturn. Wish me luck.
What are the ruins of tomorrow – Larry predicts ● What really caused Chernobyl? ● What Larry finds when he tours a bomb shelter ● Bomb shelters vs panic rooms – which is for sissys? ● What’s a Heracles couch and why do men need one? ● The movie in your head and how it can destroy you ● Who needs a $70,000 cork screw? ● How a New York paradise turned itself into a ruin ● The word nitwits love to use ● Larry reveals his secret recipe for the best malted milk shake ● What junkyard ghosts know about you
This episode is about two things. First ruins, then desire. Then it circles back to ruins. Maybe that’s no accident. Don’t desires sometimes lead us to ruin?
What is it about ruins? Why do they fascinate? As a kid, I would rather poke around some long-abandoned building than explore the newest, shiniest skyscraper. I still feel that way.
If I took a trip around the world, I’d want the ruins tour. You can keep the freshly minted; gimme musty, crumbling, leaning, rickety structures.
A couple of years ago, I drove from New England to LA. The only stuff I really looked at was rusty, cracked, and/or decayed. One of the oddest was this school, which I think was somewhere in west Texas.
Though a warm sunny day, it was still eerie as hell. The wind whistled through those swings and monkey bars. When I closed my eyes, I could hear kids laughing and doing sing-songs as they jumped rope.
Looking through the broken windows was like peering into another dimension. And I could not get enough of it. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to have a picnic right there on the broken concrete steps of that school. A retro hero with a side of nostalgia, please. And hold the introspection. No analysis. Just listen to the wind moan through the broken windows and sagebrush. When it gets cold, I’ll leave.
The other half of this episode is about desire. We all want everything – but what makes us want what we want? Answer: the movie in our head. Unless it’s a bag of potatoes or a tank of gas – some commodity. But if it’s a more personal and unnecessary item – we want it because of the role we assign it in the screenplay of our life. Anything from a new pair of shoes to an automobile can start the projector and fill the 16:9 screen in our minds.
Like this video for the Heracles couch.
I need one of those like I need a hole in my ass, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting one. In the movie in my head, I’m sitting on that couch and inexplicably, a squad from Isis bursts into my living room, just as Kevin O’Leary is telling some wantrepeneur “you’re dead to me.” Then, as I use a bullet proof couch cushion for a shield, I whip out a 12 gauge pump from the safe inside the couch and with 3.5 inch shells filled with 00 buckshot, I paint the walls with terrorist blood and hair. And the chick in the video smiles and tells me I’m great.
When the episode circles back to ruins, it’s a whispered monologue from an automotive graveyard. Some guy’s former pride and joy, once a gleaming, rolling boudoir but now a rusting heap of above-ground landfill, reminisces with another jilted lover – an ancient pickup truck.
If our cars could talk, oh, the things they would say about us.
Larry performs a miracle ● How to get sainted! ● Larry envisions his Feast Day ● Are Pope saints politically rigged? ● Which saints can be your fixers? ● Why Bar Mitzvahs beat Confirmations ● The heavenly advocates that are better than saints ● What’s “heroic virtue?” ● All this and more in Brother Larry’s St. Paddy’s Day Special!
What’s behind College-Gate? ● Why is everyone guilty – including the FBI? ● What makes a school “elite?” ● What’s the toughest part about being a father (hint: it’s not the kid) ● What is America’s true national pastime? ● Who are the most fu*ked up people in America?
When I closed my eyes, I could hear kids laughing and doing sing-songs as they jumped rope. 
