Truth lives at That LARRY SHOW, a weekly sojourn at the crossroads of madness and enlightenment. With LARRY in your life, you'll Take No Sh*t, and laugh your way to victory.
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Samson: hero or kinky, cross-dressing dope? • How women lobotomize men without surgery • How to use the Bible for a self-help book • The little blue pill men really need • The Bible passage that will save you from marriage disaster • The nuttiest fight scene ever put on film • The story of Samson like you’ve never heard it before!
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Incels replace isis! • School sics cops on kid for pointing a Lego – Larry has the exclusive 911 call! • What the hell is everyone apologizing for? • Who are the “I’m sorry” phonies? • Why “closure” is a bullsh*t word • When “I’m sorry” really means f**k you • Finding closure with piano wire • This episode has it all!
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Was Mary a TNS chick? What sort of mother was she? Who or what made J.C. turn water into wine? Did he back-talk his momma? Did she put up with his snotty attitude? Was J.C. a slacker? An under-achiever? What made him decide to finally strut his stuff? All this and more in this bizarro Mother’s Day episode.
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Selfies – more dangerous than sharks • The social-media – (not-so) – good Samaritans • Larry’s near-death encounter with an elephant • Types of selfies and what they reveal about you • A man, a bear, a selfie, the “friends” who filmed his demise and the stray dog that tried to save him • Why it’s okay to laugh at others’ deaths (but not their accents) • All this and more!
First there was the Greatest Generation. (The teleprompter-reader who co-opted the phrase for his bestseller, Tom Brokaw, is now part of the ever expanding #metoo my–career–and–reputation–is fucked generation along with many of his marginally talented cultural Marxist and Roofie dropping colleagues. Tough shit, Tom. You were never really good. You just suited up well and kissed the right asses. Same as Rather, Jennings et. al.
Then there was the Pepsi Generation. What did they do besides wear bell-bottoms and beads, chant Kumbaya and pass out Commie screeds? Fuck them, too.
Here we are in the Selfie Generation. Their depth of narcissism has created many billionaires and centi-milionaires, deca-millionaires and millionaires. Because Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and all this other shit are NOT advertising mediums as they claim. They are ego-inflation machines.
Long before social media was ever dreamed of, Andy Warhol said someday everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Or less. Like the duration of a single Tweet.
Everybody wants to be somebody. Every body wants to say “I’m here, look at me.” (Or in my case, “listen to me.”) But in defense of myself, I try to offer something in return for your attention and support. The Selfie people just want your attention with no reciprocation, no quid pro quo, just… dig me because I’m me. Well, they can just eat shit. Unless the selfie/attention demand comes from pointy chicks. Only they deserve our attention and support just for being them. They beautify our ugly world. They keep out economy booming as men buy them stuff to win their favors. They keep us…alert, courteous and needy.
As I sang in episode 9, It’s a Pointy, Hot-Chick World. And that’s the truth.
In case you’re new to all this, here’s a Pointy Chick. It’s not a selfie, but who cares?
In this episode, I promised to post one of my own few selfies. This is me in Queens, NY in glorious B&W on a cold but sunny winter’s day.
I’ve always been a camera freak. I was already deep into 35mm, but I found an old Kodak Duo-flex and loaded it with Plus-X. Click. Selfie. Frozen in time. For any other camera freaks out there, I fell in love with the square format and would eventually acquire a Rollieflex, T. Maybe still my favorite camera of all time. Is it better than digital? No. But it feels cooler in your hand, and the mechanics of it are magnificent.
In the meantime, join the Take No Shit Dojo here
Write to me (or send selfies) at thatlarryshow@gmail.com
Follow the show on Twitter. And Facebook.
I’ll see you this weekend for Sinners Sunday.
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Laugh at Job † Is God a prick? † Why did God hang out with Satan? † Meet Jehova, the joker/sadist † What in tarnation is reincarnation? † Who was more evil, Satan or Jehova? † All this and more in today’s episode of Sinner’s Sunday.
No matter how much of a boat ride your life is, sooner or later, bad shit’s going to happen – to someone you love and then to you. It’s inevitable. When it goes down, will you wig-out and pull your hair and tear at your clothes and scream what did (insert loved-one’s name, or capital I) do to deserve this!?!?!? How can God be such a prick?!?! At that moment, will God be laughing at you or nodding his head in vengeful satisfaction? That would depend on which God-provider you had shoved down your throat as a kid.
Why do bad things happen to good people is the most difficult question for God-providers around the world. They’ll throw all sorts of crap at you, about Job, or a perfect God having created an imperfect world. They’re grasping at straws and full of crap. ALL of them.
The Job story is so sick, I’m surprised some reality show cretin hasn’t yet based a show on the tale. Take some schlub and strip him of his worldly possessions, then kill his family, then infect him with a disfiguring disease. If at no point he curses his tormentors – or even gets angry, he wins a wink and a smile from Simon Cowles and a trip to Sandals Jamaica. The show could be called Anger Management, and wouldn’t that be au curant? Think that’s implausible? Then you’re not from Los Angeles. Here, there are legions of imbeciles who would make that deal in a heartbeat just to get their stupid, botoxed faces on TV. I swear to Jehova.
This is the 13th gathering of Sinners’ Sunday and perhaps achieves my goal more than any thus far. My initial intent was to blow to smithereens the lies, idiocy and hypocrisy of big time religion while unearthing the beautiful truths on which some of them were founded. And do it without an iota of bullshit. While having a drink and a laugh. And B-B-Q. Hanging out with other truth seekers. And Brother Dre and the pointy Larry-ettes. I think I’ve achieved that here. I hope you agree.
If you do, please support this ministry. I’ll bet you’ve thrown plenty o’ jing at whatever church you were raised in. (I know I have.) What have you gotten in return? Laughs? Entertainment? Honest answers? Enlightenment?
Sinners’ Sunday delivers those with every episode. And you don’t have to sit next to some fart-bag in a hot church on an ass-punishing bench. Beat that price-value relationship. I dare you.
So today – this Sunday, instead of tossing your greenbacks into that green felt-lined basket to buy another prime rib dinner for that over-fed hypocrite in the fancy silk robes whose every need is fulfilled by a multi-billion-dollar corporation that is NOT a religion, but merely franchises religion, put that $$ back in your pocket and click this link and help me deliver the truth each week. This ministry costs me time (a lot of time) and money.
Thank you Mike for the kick-ass question that launched today’s episode.
Write to me at thatlarryshow@gmail.com.
Voice mail – 302-71-Larry
See you Tuesday for the regular show.
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Danger, why we need it! • Why safety is over-rated • Why America is obese • Who are the Helmet People? • Are you one of them? • How Larry was almost killed in Paris • The smarter investment than Bitcoin • Why most safety is really about Kontrol • What is Danger Day and why will it be better than Christmas? • The soundtrack of 21st Century America – revealed • All this and more in this dangerous episode!
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How to make your heaven on earth • What’s 1400 square miles with a 200 foot wall? • Why was Larry riding a white turkey? • What 6-letter word usually means hell on earth? • Why should you start a family? • What vehicle will you drive in the afterlife? • Truth, the who not the what • All this and more in Sinners’ Sunday #12!
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Why I hate Starbucks • When your best friend marries a disaster • The loudmouth judge we love to loathe • Why nobody should be called “your honor • Accessing the autonomic tone in your brain that can save your life • Marital happiness – the odds are revealed • The voice that can kill you • The barista Larry nearly decked • All this and more!
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BS radar, how to develop it • Who is Braco the Gazer? • What C-word do liars love to use? • The bullsh*t pipeline — how to cap it before it drowns you • What are the weapons of good and evil? • Why Doubting Thomas should be YOUR role-model • All this and more in Sinners’ Sunday #11.
So here we are – Sunday night in late April 2018 and the world just gets more stupid by the minute.
Presenting BRACO the GAZER.
In episode 73, Killing Pissants for Jesus, we took a look at some other spiritual charlatans – Daddy Grace, Father Divine and Benny Hinn – but whether anyone bought into their bullshit or not, they all delivered something EVERY preacher (myself included) has a duty to deliver… entertainment. But Braco doesn’t do a fucking thing. He walks out on stage and just stares at everyone with his Basset Hound face… and… they… LOVE IT!
Which proves that at any given time on this spinning sphere, there are MILLIONS of imbeciles just begging to be fleeced, conned, led astray, bamboozled and humiliated.
Watch the Braco promo video. And then never EVER wonder again how Hitler, Mao, Stalin and Bernie Madoff were able to do what they did. The people – the idiot people – spoke, and those monsters simply responded.
Now gaze at this.
That’s Braco’s cousin, Braco Lee. I may tour with him later this year. Not sure if we’ll gaze at anybody. Maybe we’ll just dip him in Bleu Cheese and hand him out like communion.
Then there was Tommy the Doubter, the only apostle that got his own sub-name, like Peter “the Rock.” Tommy earned his nickname. He demanded to see JC’s wounds and JC accomodated him. Peter, on the other hand, was a mushy rock. He denied JC on the night he was captured and also sank like a rock when he tried to walk on water like JC.
In my book, Tommy trumps Petey.
Folks, know this. Sinner’s Sunday is the ONLY ministry on earth that is not full of shit. So support it here.
Write to me at thatlarryshow@gmail.com
See you Tuesday.
Jon Benet murder SOLVED! • Adios Art Bell • The cop that saved Larry’s life (and almost killed him) • When is a man ready for fatherhood? • Is stepping in dog shit good luck? • Backmasked recordings – Satanic or silly? • Are kids worth the trouble? • Commies, elitists, bureaucrats and procedurists – why they’re all the same and they’re all shit • All this and more, in the exciting conclusion of episode 83 – ONLY on Patreon!
