Truth lives at That LARRY SHOW, a weekly sojourn at the crossroads of madness and enlightenment. With LARRY in your life, you'll Take No Sh*t, and laugh your way to victory.
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PROOF that Jesus would have drowned Andrew Cuomo ■ Why Andrew Cuomo is Satan ■ Why Hitler was more honest than Cuomo ■ The Mussolini Treatment and why Cuomo deserves it ■ When prayer is NOT the answer ■ What is the bloodiest sport of all? ■ All this and more in Sinners’ Sunday #49. Eat it, Cuomo!
Write to Brother Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com
Call the Chapel: 302-71-Larry
STOP CUOMO!
The new COPSPEAK: Gimme your license and access to your ass ♦ What NEVER to say to a cop ♦ What sentences piss Larry off more than any others ♦ Why UBER is shit and must be destroyed ♦ Why UBER’s CEO is shit, too ♦ Why Syracuse, N.Y. is shit ♦ Why Deming, New Mexico is shit ♦ The words that will keep you out of jail ♦ Discover the BULLET FEE and how it’s a part of U.S. law enforcement ♦ Get BOTH barrels in this RANTastic episode!
What makes a bonus episode a bonus episode? Well, these are the episodes for the folks that care enough about this show to support it. And I appreciate that, so bonus episodes get more thought, more effort, more polish and more of me – than regular ones.
In this one, I really do unload on things that piss me off to homicidal levels. Like when people are treated like criminals when they are not. Which is ALL of us, every time we take a commercial flight and are criminalized – groped, wanded, body scanned by surly people wearing blue latex gloves. Those fucking gloves have become emblematic of a protected class of people who can pretty much do whatever they want without concern of job loss or even reprimand.
What do I mean? Well have a look at this video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPEXYkffgpw
Then have a look at this video
N. J. Cops administer roadside prostate exam
And it’s not just government. Now, corporations that we pay are also doing powerplays Like UBER – which is reporting people for drugs.
Listen to the episode and find out what it’s all about.
And then get pissed. Very pissed.
Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com
Call the dojo: 302-71-Larry
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Why our reality is scarier than The Matrix ■ They are taking your freedom – find out how ■ Why Larry hates Google ■ Why Larry needs govt. permission to buy medicine for his dog ■ WTF is a love contract? ■ Is your employer a cock-blocker? ■ Working 2019: Boss, may I have permission to get laid? ■ Is this the Take Sh*t generation? ■ Larry defines pointy chix – in detail ■ From Mad Men to Compliant Children – how did we get here? ■ Get yourself unchained in this very dangerous episode!
Can you believe The Matrix is 20 years old? How could they even make that movie today – where would they find a pay phone? All that ordnance, all that kung fu, all that testosterone and the screenwriter-brothers, Larry and Andy Wachowski are now the Wachowski sisters, Lana and Lilly. Since they identify as female, I wonder if they’d write a different script? 20 years isn’t too soon for a re-boot. The original was such a gargantuan success, even if the re-boot was shit, the studio would still make a ton just on the curiosity factor.
As nutty as The Matrix was (and I mean that in the good sense) it really was quite prophetic. The blue-pill/red-pill thing has become a political meme, but in the span since film was made, our freedoms have been so depleted that we really are becoming human batteries for a cancerous government metastasizing at an alarming rate. It needs more money, it needs more power, it wants more control, and it’s going to get it. It always does. Soon, California will be taxing cars by miles driven. How will they do that? Easy. They’ll also know where you’re driving as well, so if you’re entertaining any thoughts of knocking over a liquor store or stepping out on your wife at the local cathouse – do it quick.
20 years ago, there was no TSA. Nobody was having their junk groped by blue gloved Sky Guardians, and baggage – not passengers – was getting X-rayed. 20 years from now, we’ll be boarding planes naked and handed our clothes in the jetway upon landing. Hopefully, seats will have those little removable napkins not just at the head-rests, but on the butt-cushions as well. And it will all be in the name of safety. Stupid and cowardly people will do anything to be safe. Anything. But they end up dead anyway. Same as the smart and brave.
A long time ago, President Eisenhower said something about “beware the military industrial complex.” Being a life–long soldier, he was hip – hip to dreamed up wars, $600 toilet seats, crazy coups, nation-building, et al. Now, not only the military is blowing the government, every major corporation is. So your every prescription drug purchase, booze order, cell call, keystroke is cataloged.
And let’s not forget our new “vere are yoor pay–puz?” mentality. Every fucking thing requires a FEDERALLY issued picture, thumbprint and bar-code ID. Except voting. I did that in November and could have told them I was Popeye the Sailor Man and they would not have asked me for so much as a spinach label.
I’m so sick of the ID requests that I have a fake ID and works great. Cashiers look at it and their jaws work but no sound comes out. Then they call a manager. They forget all about asking me for my phone number and if I want to contribute my change to the favorite charity the multi-billion-dollar chain store expects me to support.
Here is my fake ID. What do you think?
In this episode, I also give an overdue an detailed explanation of the term I coined, “Pointy Chick.” As far as I can tell (and I’m no archaeologist) The Egyptians designed pointy women. I was going to post some of their 5,000 year-old art, but it’s all 2-d and profiles. They could build sphinxes and pyramids, but they could not draw a person straight on. So here’s some chick in a Cleopatra costume from Party City. She looks pretty pointy. And authentic.
Is your employer cock-blocking you? Google and Facebook allow their slaves to ask fellow slaves for sex only once. How pathetic. And if she should say “yes,” you are expected to report your romance to HR. In this episode, I have a live recording of some manlet asking HR for permission to screw.
Oh, for the days of Mad Men, when people were expected to get laid at the office. Mad Men are gone, replaced by Compliant Children. Sad.
I’m enlisting your help in finding Jonathan Brandmeier, a once monstrously popular Chicago radio personality who has vanished from the airwaves and the public eye. Turns out my friend Darren O’Neill – host of the always entertaining Randumbthoughts.com podcast – has a bit of a history with Johnny B. We both dig Johnny B., so much that if we can locate him, and he agrees, we’ll both abandon our solo formats to have Johnny as a guest. Together.
If you’ll help us get hold of him, I promise it will be a pisser of an episode.
See you on Patreon for the bonus episode – PART 2 of “UNCHAIN YOURSELF.”
Get Part 2 of this episode here.
Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com
Call the TNS Dojo: 302-71-Larry
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AOC sez: WE’RE DEAD! ▲ Smirk your way to freedom ▲ Hate crime, hate speech, and now FACE CRIME! ▲ Why you need to carry a police whistle ▲ F*ck groups, they’re destroying America ▲ What does your pigeon-hole look/sound like? ▲ Join AOC’s climate change army, get free money, a purpose and an acid-rain parasol (or a plastic, cone-shaped helmet – your choice!) ▲ All this and more in this IN THEIR FACE episode of That LARRY SHOW
Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com
Call the dojo: 302-71-Larry
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Larry’s BIG PREDICTION (his last one, Epsiode 149 – was correct!) ▲ JC – STILL most wanted dead by liars and creeps! ▲ JC’s toxic masculinity – how emulating it will make you invincible ▲ The Frankfurt school – the lie factory ▲ The 6 criteria they’ll use to declare JC a toxic man ▲ How big pharma and shrinks are destroying humanity ▲ God’s real name
Write to Brother Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com
Call the chapel @ 302-71-Larry
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Gillette wants your balls… OFF! ♦ How the War on Men is heating up ♦ Bro culture vs. Sis culture ♦ Bezos’ bimbo ruins him with “Toxic Femininity” ♦ How cultural taxidermists are making men into stuffed trophies ♦ Why the Apocalypse is men’s’ only hedge against extinction ♦ Psychology — junk science from junkies ♦ Larry shreds Gillette and man-haters as never before!
Join the Take No Shit dojo and help Larry save MANkind!
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Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com
Call Larry: 302-71-Larry
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Larry’s family road trip to the town built on bullshit ♦ How to re-arrange your chakras ♦ Aliens, monsters, vortexes – which do you believe in? ♦ The hoaxing broad who fooled millions ♦ What happened at the 1987 Harmonic Convergence? ♦ Who is Larry’s spirit guide? ♦ Death in a sweat box – the $10,000 spiritual journey! ♦ All this and more in this milestone episode of that Larry Show
Once in a while, you just have to get out of Dodge. Especially when Dodge is Los Angeles, a city so fucked up, the mayor is the son of the moron who could not convict O.J. Simpson.
Off we went, due East to Sedona, Arizona. Do you have any idea how much crap 3 females pack for a 5-day trip? A shitload. Like a steamer trunk, just for cosmetics and hair care products. Away we went, 500 miles, stopping only for gasoline and whizzing. Note: Arizona rest area toilets are way, WAY cleaner than their California counterparts. So grab a mop and pail and get the fuck busy, Governor Gavin Newsom, you feckless Commie fuck. I’m not paying you to pick your nose up there in Suckramento, asshat.
Sedona is weird, beautiful and stupid. Everyone is clad in either Columbia Sportswear ensembles or Cochise-wear. Those who sport either are equally annoying. The Columbia Sportswear fuckballs are Sierra Club Nazis who think gum wrappers are like Ebola you can see. The Cochiseys think they could track a wolverine over running water or shape shift into an invisible puma. They’re usually doctors or accountants, but they’re still morons.
Loiter anywhere in Sedona and within 20 minutes, somebody will tell you they see shadow people or orbs. If you feign interest, they’ll go on to tell you 911 was an inside job and it was done with sound waves. If you’re still listening, they’ll tell you they can bi-locate. I asked one if she knew alleged bi-locator Padre Pio. She did not.
I have a major problem. I like good scenery. Which is why, many years ago, I left monochromatic, filthy, dank New York for pastel and sunny Los Angeles. Here, I am surrounded by imbeciles who think they are actors, screenwriters and “film-makers.” When I’ve had enough of their nonsense, I should head for someplace where folks are more… cerebral. But all those places look like shit. So I drive 500 miles for more great scenery and shape-shifting fucktards in Billy Jack hats.
What’s a Billy Jack hat? This:
That’s a dead actor named Tom Laughlin who made one of the most unwatchable movies ever, Billy Jack. He played a Navajo martial artist. As convincingly as Elizabeth Warren plays whatever the hell Indian she claims to be. But I digress. That hat pretty much screams “I got brain damage.” Lots of idiots wear hats like that around Sedona.
The town is paved with bullshit. Bullshit stores selling faux Indian art and turquoise bracelets and rings to complement the I got brain damage hats. Aura photography studios. Crystal healing clinics. Energy balancing emporiums. Chakra adjustment centers. Medicine wheels. What’s a medicine wheel? I know one when I see one, and so will you after you view this daffy broad doing her medicine wheel rattle-dance. Makes me want to shape shift into Ted Bundy and tear her arm off at the shoulder.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-r-YmTp97A
If anyone knows of a town in America where they don’t wear Billy Jack hats and have read a book other than Harry fucking Potter and there’s no snow (EVER) and it’s not a congested, grimy shithole, please let me know. I want to visit.
Now enjoy this episode. Presenting a town truly built by bullshit – Sedona, Arizona.
BTW, Sinners’ Sunday will now post on first and third Sundays.
See you next Tuesday (or so.)
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Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com
Call the Take No Shit Dojo: 302-71-Larry
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Simon Sez rituals that make us jerks ♦ What you can learn about religion from the Wizard of Oz ♦ The real reason religions invent rules and regulations ♦ Do your clothing, diet and body positions trigger God? ♦ What can you learn about rituals from sun-bathing ♦ Why Moses’ original 10 was sufficient ♦ WISE UP, with Sinners’ Sunday!
Write to Brother Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com
Chapel hot-line: 302-71-Larry
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Words Commies use to control you ♦ Why danger is better than safety ♦ The greatest fish story is about BIRDS ♦ Death by selfie ♦ The war on men/boys ♦ The war on strip joints ♦ ChiComs on Mexican radio ♦ Under Armour’s punk CEO and his war on fun ♦ Hollywood’s Walk of Feces ♦ The vintage T-Bird driving, pointy desert femme who ensorcelled Larry ♦ Warping time with Larry ♦ All this and more, in The Best of Larry, 2018.
Write to Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com
Call the Take No Shit Dojo: 302-71-Larry
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On the run with Joe, Mary & little J.C. – the untold Christmas story ▲ King Herod, a punk’s punk ▲ What’s a Coptic Christian and what do they know that others don’t? ▲ 26 places in Egypt where they hid out ▲ Genocide, the sport of kings ▲ Are politicians any different now?
All this and more in Sinners’ Sunday #46
Write to Brother Larry: thatlarryshow@gmail.com
Call the Chapel hot-line: 302-71-larry
