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How to ID a secret psycho ● Where to meet psychos ● The 2,600 hidden sidewalk toilets in Hollywood ● The dead star all living stars hate ● Where does YOUR state rank, psycho-wise? ● Are you a psycho ready to snap? ● Why Silence of the Lambs is the dumbest movie ever ● Who describes Hollywood better, Hunter Thompson or Larry? ● All this and more in this all-psycho, all-the-time episode.
Psychos get a bad rap, don’t they? If not for their victims, they’d be heros. They provide a level of entertainment you can’t buy anywhere at any price.
Everywhere we look is putrid dreck. Braying, teleprompter-reading asshats on TV and social media. Cat videos. Latte swirls. Here’s what I’m eating now pictures. I’m checking in safe notifications – nobody gives a fuck! Emojis. Inspirational memes we’ve seen so many times, it makes us bleed from our eyeballs. Twitter twits who have never, EVER had an original thought in their vacuum skulls and post other mindless shit passed along by other mindless fucktards, excreted from the sphincter of some warty-faced meme gnome, probably located in Cuppertino.
The entire media experience is an asshole walking up to you at a party and asking you why did the chicken cross the street. It’s that bad. And Hollyshit? Hey kids! Here’s Star Wars 27! Jurassic 15! Fast & Furious 9!
Once every few decades, salvation. Deep in the rotting brain of some miscreant, there is an almost imperceptible pop – the sound of a pin dropping. Which creates a chain reaction in his mind – and though the nuerosynaptic cacophony he hears kill now, again, again – and presto, we are delivered from the mundane. A story we can sink our teeth into the way Jeffrey Dahmer sank his teeth into the shins of his dates. Post mortem.
If there were no serial killers, we’d have to invent some. They are the media equivalent of the ice – bucket challenge or a stinging face-slap.
Your cat video? It’s stupid and boring! Look at this psycho from Milwaukee with 17 dismembered bodies marinating in 55–gallon blue plastic barrels! THIS is entertainment!
Maybe psychos and serial killers are the dividing line between those we people we like and those we avoid. Maybe “do you find psychos and serial killers amusing?” should be the paramount – or maybe even the ONLY question on job interviews, dating apps, and presidential debates.
Some guy at SMU cooked up a study ranking the states by concentration of psychos. Of course, Washington DC was the winner, which makes perfect sense. Politicians are all psychos – but the boring kind. They lack the creativity to fill blue barrels with bodies so they just line their pockets with our money instead. They have no innate power, so they derive it from their chicken-shit commitees comprised of other simmering, low-energy psychos who band together to… legislate. To be clear, I have more respect for Gacy, Dahmer and Manson that most politicians. Serial killers destroy others but die in jail. They pay a price. Politicians destroy everything and live to be ancient on outrageous pensions. Fuck them.
In this episode, I also go off Hollywood – the neighborhood and the industry. Both are filled with psychos.
We also take a stroll down the Hollywood walk of fame. Which is the world’s largest open air toilet. Every day, druggies and derelicts are shitting on every TV, movie and recording star in the universe. And that’s a good thing, as Martha Stewart would say. As far as I know, she does not have a star on the walk. But if/when she does, somebody will take a dump on it.
All the stars on the Walk of Fame are meaningless, because they can be bought, as this photo proves.
And really, who wants one anyway. You want a memorial? Nothing beats Al Jolson’s which can be seen by every car on the 405 freeway and every plane flying in and out of LAX. That’s lasting fame. That’s big time.
Here’s a video of it. I have no idea who the people are in it. I wonder if they know who they are.
VIDEO OF AL JOLSON’S ETERNAL WATERFALL TOMB
Next up, a kick-ass BONUS episode. Since this one is being downloaded like crazy, the next one will take up where this one leaves off – “Psycho Bitches From Hell.” Coming within days on this page.
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