How 16 qts. of beef stew on a Facebook post leads you to spiritual enlightenment • What “compliment” mightmake a woman boil a rabbit on your stove? • Why Southern Lent is Mardi Gras and New England Lent is misery • Which “film-maker” is an asshole? • Meet the movie star priest who solved a religious riddle (and pissed off almost everyone) • What you can do to make God smile and not destroy Earth. All this and more!
So it’s Lent. And if you have to do it, wouldn’t you rather do it the way they do in the Southern latitudes, with her as your spiritual advisor?
Or, if you’d prefer something more austere, do it New England style.
Or, to hell with it altogether.
Welcome to Saturday’s most extended after-party.
Enjoy the show. Get at me at email@example.com.
The dominatrix ex-cop we love • What is command presence? (and why should all cops have it?) • What is the police S.O.M. squad and why are members punks? • Why is ball breaking America’s biggest business? • The #metoo celeb accused of molesting men • Wanna getcha kink and rage on? This is your episode!
You can’t make this shit up is the phrase that bounces around my mind everytime I look at the news. Just when you think humanity can’t get any more stupid, it does.
At least, once in a while the indiocy is sweeteed with some eye-candy and salacious underpinnings, like the story about Kristen Hyman (pictured, in black vinyl, attempting to destroy my DNA manufacture, storage and delivery system.) Of course, it’s a rigged image, as I think Kristen and I would get along quite well. She’s a Take No Shit chick who was canned from the Hudson County Sheriff’s Dept just before graduating . They found out her previous gig was playing a whip-whistling, ball-kicking domina in kinky videos. In my book, that makes her the kind of woman who might make a great cop. When shit gets tense, Kristen won’t be needing any backup.
Here’s Kristen doing a swift-water rescue. Why don’t the life guards at my local pool look (or dress) like her?
Most of the garbage running Fed, State and local governments have done much, much worse than spank some dude (who loved every stroke) in a kinky video. But this is where we are in our so-called culture.
Kristen is a cute, pointy chick who got a bad deal. She is the yin to the yang that is Cristina Garcia – who has had a precipitious fall from grace. Garcia was featured in Time Magazine’s “Silence Breakers” issue as one of many victims of sexual harassment speaking out. But now Garcia is being accused of harassing and molesting men herself! Tsk, tsk. Imagine that? How is that possible?
Garcia doesn’t exactly deny any misbehavior. She says “I have zero recollection of engaging in inappropriate behavior.” Sounds like bullshit to me.
Here’s Garcia at a rally in L.A. braying about “bringing down the patriarchy.”
Hoist on her own petard. Ha ha ha!
As you know, my show is a no-guest format. But I would glady break that rule to have Kristen Hyman on my show. She looks smart. She looks fun. She has been wronged by government. If anyone knows Kristen, please ask her to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
On the other hand, Cristina Garcia IS the government – a politican from Southern California. She’s what’s wrong with government.
Hang with us this Sunday and every Sunday at Brother Larry’s Sinners’ Sunday.It’s your alternative God-provider. Beer, BBQ, babeage and spiritual adventure. Beats the ass off the neighborhood church, I gurantee it.
Unhappy with your current God-provider? • Had a belly-full of bible-thumping phonies? • Then hang with the badasses at Sinners’ Sundays, where there’s beer, B-B-Q, babeage and spiritual adventure • Finally – a Sunday experience you can believe in.
Where to meet your soul mate • Why Valentine’s Day is THE most dangerous day • Steve Wynn’s $7.5 mil payoff and the power-drunk punk bureaucrat • The new abnormal norms • Why Caitlyn Jenner knows more than you do • Why men must get pointy to get laid • How men are outgunned in the battle of the sexes • Everything you need to know about love and more!!!!
Here we are looking down the barrel of another Valentine’s Day – a day usually fraught with anxiety – but now, it’s just outright dangerous. Why? Because if you’re a dude who wants to win the heart – or other select parts of a chick – and you don’t do the Valentine thing juuuust right – you might wind up smeared, jobless or even jailed. That’s where we’re at now in our so-called society.
I can’t wait to see this year’s stories of Valentine’s abuse and triggering. OMG! The flowers he gave me made me sneeze! I want him fired!Or… the chocolates weren’t non-GMO… I’m suing!Or… He sent me a Valentine card without my written consent! Off with his scrotum!
How did we get here? Is our species doomed? Fear and paranoia are the new emotional norms. It’s eerily reminiscent of the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers. The plot was simple – some type of viral cosmic filth blew onto the earth and while everyone slept, they were digested by giant, swollen zucchinis and re-constituted to look as they did prior to ingestion. But the new Veggie People had flat-lined personalities.They all smiled that same dead eyed, dial-tone smile. They never laughed. They never showed any emotion. They just went about their normal business with all the verve, enthusiasm and predictability one would expect from a walking, talking squash. Until they met someone who had not yet been re-constituted. Then the would get triggered. They would stop and stare and point and screech like a Banshee getting corn-holed by a white hot, spiked javelin.
This is what it looked and sounded like:
There was a lot of controversy over the allegory of the movie. To me, it represented the Commie take-over. The hive mentality. The genocide of the individual.
If I were re-making the movie, I’d have it end on more of an up-note. The unconverted girl in the raincoat would pull a sawed-off 12 gauge from beneath her coat and stick it in Donald Zucchini Sutherland’s shrieking mouth and pull the trigger, blowing out the back of his head with a fine mist of blood and pumpkin guts.
I can think of nothing more thrilling that flirting with a pointy female. And now, the sex, speech and behavior Nazis are writing a code of conduct for that endeavor. These rigid, meddlesome, dictatorial shit-bags must be stopped, or
We. Are. Fucking. Doomed..
…unless armies of smart, enlightened, vivacious, non-Birkenstock-wearing women coalesce and organize and arm themselves with razor wits and tongues and humor and humanity and sawed-off shotguns and stop the galloping advance of the cosmic space filth that has invaded our world.
Ladies, the fate of our species is in your smooth, femme, manicured, bejeweled, competent and loving hands. SAVE US!
My new spin-off show – Brother Larry’s Sinful Sunday premieres this Sunday, February 11. Don’t miss it! It is going to SERIOUSLY trigger most organized religions and the frauds that run them. We’ll be serving cocktails while we take a spiritual journey to the truth.
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