Episode 48: HOT GOSS! Onstage & Backstage at Road Rage L.A.

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Larry roasts the ragers • An inside look at the L.A. Road Rage • The test that separates the cool from the creepy • What are Dick’s fans really like? • What really unites and divides us? • Dumped? Here’s what to doSick of “big leaguers?” Here’s how to flip them • All this and MORE!

Dickheads.

They came by land, sea and air from all over the world. And what a gathering it was. Lined up around the block. Six deep at the bar. An urgent request for additional bouncers by mid-show. This ain’t Seinfeld, folks. In fact, it didn’t even look like L.A. It was more like Bensonhurst, Brooklyn. People screaming, howling, barking. Beer flying. Dick Masterson’s relentless roar over the PA system… Shut the F**k up!

Mariachis, a stripper, twin blondes with bodies that make men crawl and beg, a warm up comic in a three piece suit. Asterios in a green Danskin. How do you spell depraved? Thorazine ceiling misters would not have helped.

And yours truly, there to tell a story about failure in the City of Failure. Instead I pulled a switcheroo and roasted Dick, Schegauwen, Asterios, Denzel, Kian, Layc, Peach… hell, I even burned down “the bunker.”

It was a night to remember. If anyone could. Alcoholic blackouts were rippling through the crowd. It could only have happened on Friday the 13th.

I was there for all of it and give you the insider’s view in this special episode.

Warm shout out to Melissa Young and Kristopher Chavez who heard my request for pix of me – thank you! Here’s a sampling… (And thank you to everyone I met at the show – you made it a blast for me!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Been dumped? Sitting in your Barcalounger looking at your own heart smeared across the rug like cream cheese on a bagel? I’m America’s Dad. Listen to me and you’ll get through it. I take a listener through the process step-by step.

Being “big leagued” by some twit at work? I’ve got your fix for that too.

Email me at thatlarryshow@gmail.com

Join the Dojo at Patreon here:

Follow thatlarryshow on twitter.

Next Tuesday, TONY SPUMONTE RETURNS in a HALLOWEEN episode. Boo! Or should we say BANG! Tune in to find out. Don’t miss it. Or the upcoming bonus episode, “Attack of the Bubble People.”

Episode 47: Hefner’s Secrets, Vegas Intel, Shy Chix

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Larry meets HefLarry goes to the Playboy Mansion •  Discover why Hef was a NERD and a CUCK and driven by RAGELarry meets his first Playboy Playmate (at 15!) • What’s really happening in Vegas post massacre? • View the tip of the bullsh*t-berg • How to deal with shy chix – and what makes them shy?

Other than catastrophes and natural disasters, we rarely recognize the milestones in our lives until we view them in the rear-view mirror. And so when I met my first Playboy cover girl at the Custom Car & Hot Rod Show and sustained one of my first shattered fantasies, I didn’t clearly understand it until many years later when I met the architect of that fantasy, Hugh Marston Hefner.

Hefner was to pornography what Steve Jobs was to computers. Except, when Jobs died, it didn’t signify the end of the computer industry. But Hefner’s passing was like a light – a soft red light in a window above a lonely, rain-slicked sidewalk – winking out, never to glow again. Because what every mouse clicking, phone thumbing, tablet stroking Pornhub visitor may or may or may  not understand is that had there been no Hef, there would be no Pornhub. He was the Columbus, the Magellan, the Edison and the Neil Armstrong of naughty imagery. And now he’s gone. And no Pornhub users can ever say they view Pornhub “for the articles.” They, we and the NSA know exactly why they are there. Click, click, click. Ugggghhhh.

Hefner was an enigma and in this episode, the incongruities between his public persona and his true nature are illuminated as never before.

It’s been 10 days since the Las Vegas massacre and it may prove to generate more conspiracy theories than the JFK assassination or 9/11. We may never know the whole truth. We’re seeing a load of loose ends and contradictions. One of our own TNS Dojo senseis, Mike Honcho, a tip  of the spear military operative, weighs in with his expert opinion on the ordnance used by scum bag shooter Stephen Paddock.

The New York Times calls him “Mr. Paddock.” They also called Charley “Mr. Manson” and probably gave Adolph the respect of “Mr. Hitler.” We don’t do that. We mock creeps in this dojo – unabashedly.

Next, a listener from the UK gets his answer about how to deal with a shy woman for whom he has the hots. To answer him, I had to query other senseis because I never dated a shy woman. Dating is arduous enough. Having to “draw somebody out” was additional work I refused to do. But it seems lots of guys dig shy chicks. Like Rocky Balboa. And Rory, from Great Britain.

The fame of this show is spreading far and wide. Check out this banging video posted by listener and Patrioni The Mighty Plantain. Not only does he hip the world to an adult beverage he favors, he does so while wrapped in a Take No Sh*T Dojo t-shirt in Gunfighter Black. He looks good. Damn good. Thanks for supporting the show and for the plug, Mr. Plantain! And everyone, please subscribe to his YouTube channel to know what’s worth drinking (and wearing) or not.

Get your own official TNS dojo shirt here.

Join thatlarryshow.com Patreon here. It’s the greatest group of people on earth.  And follow the show on Twitter here.

See you next Tuesday. Or, if you’re anywhere near Los Angeles, get over to the Satellite in Silver Lake where I’ll be appearing this Friday, October 13 @ 8pm with Dick Masterson and his crew of comics, reprobates, hoodlum attorneys, Playboy model Layc Nicole, Schzeaughewn the V-neck wearing engineer and Christ knows who else. Probably midgets on unicycles with their heads on fire.

I’m supposed to do an exhibition of erotic karate. I’m pretty sure it will be a rodeo. Or at the very least, a milestone. I intend to recognize this one as it happens, or at least before I meet Hefner again.

 

Bonus Episode 9: Five French Secrets of Fun

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Happy October.
This Bonus episode was supposed to post in September but here it is, a little bit late. Why? Let me relate to you an old Hollywood story about Ray Bradbury – who not only wrote some kick-ass science fiction, he wrote some kick-ass screenplays. Some studio suit was breaking Ray’s balls for a finished script by a certain Wednesday. And the suit kept nagging Bradbury with relentless phone messages and memos — Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday! And finally having enough (and taking no sh*t) Bradbury answered the impatient exec, “You want it Wednesday? Or you want it good!?!?!?”
You can’t rush screenplays, whiskey or Bonus episodes.
I went to France. And while there I saw many things and noticed many more. No matter where I was, the French seemed to be enjoying life more than we do here in the land of stress, arterial plaque and bruxism. The French don’t have squinchy expressions on their faces. They don’t get bent out of shape over meaningless crap. They smile more, laugh more, relax more. And one can only guess what else they do more when they close up shop every day between 2 and 4 pm and go home for a “nap.”
The French invented “pointy.” French chicks are the pointiest I’ve ever seen.
This episode will change your life. You don’t need Paxil or Adderall or Zoloft or therapy or Slim Fast or Pilates. You need only listen to these 24 minutes and 21 seconds of pure enlightenment and your life will improve… immediately.
I’ve distilled it to Five French Secrets of fun What could be easier?
If you’re already a Patreon Dojo member – this episode is for you. If you’ve been wondering, now’s the time to join.
5 simple things the French do that you can do that will make your life better.
The best things in life are free. But not this episode. However, it costs a lot less that a Paxil prescription. And the side effects are pure bliss.
Enjoy.
Or as they say, aimer la vie!