Episode 54: Charles Manson & Me


How Charlie acquired a 35 – woman harem – and you can too! • When America hoped Manson would kill Geraldo Rivera • What makes a Manson chick a Manson chick • Why Ted Kennedy & Charles Manson were similar • Why Elizabeth Warren could be a Manson chick • Why Charles Manson was the rock star of psycho killers • What is the Manson challenge and are  you up for it? How Hollywood triggered Charles Manson • All this and MORE!

America needs bogey men and Charlie Manson was the top. Someone we could hate. Someone we could abuse. Someone we could reference when Hitler was worn out. Best of all, every now and then – for damn near FIFTY YEARS… we’d get to rediscover Charlie at parole hearings. We’d wheel him out like Quasimodo and throw rotten fruit and spit on him with no regrets. He truly was the gift that kept on giving. And now he’s gone. We should have cooked up a LinkedIn profile for him while he was still breathing. Maybe we could have found a replacement.

Heroes are a dime a dozen. And they’re boring. They do their good deed, then recount it for the media, then they say “anybody wudda done wat I did” and most of us think… damn straight… and go pour ourselves another bowl of Wheaties.

And another thing about heros. These days, “hero” is the most elastic word in the dictionary. A hero is somebody who simply doesn’t do something heinous. A  movie usher helps a lost toddler find his mom, instead of pushing the toddler off the balcony… and he’s a hero. Face it, we’re all sick of ersatz heroes.

We actually prefer villains. We all stack up as sterling citizens next to a scurrilous villain, don’t we? Comparisons are so much easier.

We need a heavy. We need a whipping boy. We need a monster. Kim Jong Un? Too remote. Kim Kardashian? Too accessible. Where in hell are we going to find a villain of Charles Manson’s stature? He was the perfect sized villain, because at 5’2″, we all figured we could throttle him with both hands tied behind our backs.

He left behind a hell of a legacy and that’s what this episode is a about – a man and his minions – the Manson Family.  Even his schtick was unique. Did Jeff Dahmer or John Wayne Gacy have zombie-like families who would murder on command? Does OJ? You see what I’m getting at here? We had the Rolls Royce of psycho killers for damn near a half century. Replacing him won’t be easy. We’d better get busy.

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See you next Tuesday.

Episode 53: Larry’s Dream Thanksgiving


Charles Manson’s Thanksgiving tips • How Thanksgiving can kill you •  Coming soon: the Amazon Thanksgiving Day Parade • Death Football: the only kind Larry will watch • Why is Thanksgiving dinner 30 – minutes shorter this year? • Live leaked recording of a Thanksgiving stabbing • How to protect yourself from a crappy Thanksgiving • Larry’s can’t miss side-dishes • All this and MORE in this MUST LISTEN HOLIDAY CLASSIC!

Here we go again. In two days we’re expected to gorge ourselves and then drift into a food coma as Christmas songs play on a continuous loop on Pandora, Spotify or that crappy FM station where no human being has set foot in years. Robo radio. Robo food. Robo relatives. Robo conversation. Robo snap. Pass the mashed potatoes and the Black Talon ammo, please.

Beware – it can happen anywhere and anytime.

What the hell happened to Thanksgiving? How can it be restored to its former glory as THE great American holiday? Because for years, it’s been nothing but a door stop for Black Friday. And what a pathetic day that is.

But there is hope. In this episode, you’ll hear a prelude to a snap and then an actual snap when one unhappy Pilgrim grabs a knife and carves – his fellow diners.

Discover a metaphysical exercise that can deliver you from any unpleasant scene to the paradise of your choosing – without the aid of psychedelics.

What’s my dream Thanksgiving? I’ve experienced the full spectrum – from warm and fuzzy familial perfection to the solitary misery of a pariah. But this year I want to have fun. For an idea of what kind of fun, click this link.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItdVLbl6_ng

Pointy chix await.

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Remember – you don’t have to eat the Brussels Sprouts. I said so, and I’m the TNS Dojo sensi.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Episode 52: Larry Gets Sexually Harassed


Why mankind is doomed • Who is to blame? • Why Hollywood is a sewer • Find out what Larry knows about 2 guys on the Hollywood Shame List • Why Louis CK is an unfunny turd • What you can and cannot say while flirting • SHAME STOPPERS – Larry’s new Shark Tank business you’ll want to invest in • Sex robots: are they the answer? • Discover who is on Larry’s hit listAll this and more!!!

I could write more. Lots more. But with a thumbnail this enticing, what the hell for?

What is Hollywood? Hollywood is Sodom and Gomorrah reverse engineered. Here we are 4,000 years later, and Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby  and Kevin Spacey are going to get us all killed. Every 0ne of those talent-less putzes is sick rich, but would they spring for a hooker like salaried conventioneers in Vegas? No. Those fat, phony phreaks had to extort and drug and coerce people to have sex with them. And now look what’s happening. Regular guys can’t so much as ask a girl to dance or compliment her shoes without risking jail time.

By the way, what’s faker than Kevin Spacey’s toupee? I watched the first 10 minutes of House of Cards and shut it off, because I could not bear to view Kevin’s skull carpet. Really, no lie. I find it offensive. Because plenty of other bald guys, like Ben Affleck and Burt Reynolds, have much more authentic looking  rugs than Kevin’s. What the hell’s the matter with that guy?

I never, ever liked Bill Cosby. Never found him funny. Richard Pryor – funny. Chris Rock – funny. Eddie Murphy – funny. Bill Cosby – not funny and pompous. And speaking of not funny, nobody is more not funny than Louis CK. He really bugs me. When I look at him, I see Charlie Brown in middle age. A twisted, roiling, blob of neuroses and syndromes, asking audiences to like him because he’s a loser. Well, Woody Allen and Rodney Dangerfield already rented that space, Louis, and they were funny. But you’re not. Here’s hoping you disappear and stay missing. Not because of your “sexual misconduct.” I don’t care of you like people watching you choke your John Thomas. I just don’t find you funny. Not even a little.

Like Lot, I was going to ask God to spare Los Angeles if I could find one just man, but that would be like finding a movie not rated R for retarded. It ain’t gonna happen. So I’m hauling my peeps the hell outta SoCal before the fire and brimstone starts to fly and I’ll watch Selfie City burn on the 6 o’clock news from my hillside perch in a small town far away where I’ll be clinging to my guns and religion.

Things are hopping at the TNS Dojo. We have two new sensies – Adam Nash for financial matters and Queen of Discipline Tess Lynch. (She’ll also be keeping order in the Facebook group.) Don’t piss her off. Her eyes can fry you in a nanosecond like the villains in Superman 2.

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See you next Tuesday.


Episode 51: Knowing When to Quit Your Job


Trapped in a dark, rat-infested basement… how does Larry escape? • What to do when your idiot boss is a “company man” • How to identify (and avoid) company men • Tell-tale words that company men use • What job titles actually reveal about the job • When quitting is the only option • When and how to leave on bad terms •  How Larry got conned into a lousy part-time job • All this and MORE!!!

Why is work more odious than ever? Because of Kool-Aid guzzling, true-believer company men, that’s why. They need to be identified, rounded up and given helicopter rides to active volcanoes. They are the problem. And they are everywhere.

This episode begins with a listener’s dilemma. He’s just started a new job and enjoys it until he discovers his boss is a company man/boi/pinhead/puke-bag/pustule/cretin/ass-hat. One of those detestable ginks who is never satisfied merely by a job well – done – he wants his subordinates to dance and kiss ass. Well, Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey found out that’s a perilous way to comport oneself. Whether sexual favors or blood from a stone, people are getting fed up with assholes on power trips.

Once Larry dishes up the advice, come ride along with him on one of his many odd ball jobs. This one finds him trapped in a dark, rat-infested basement on Easter Sunday. The moral of the story? Some jobs just aren’t worth the money. And if you take the gig, be damn sure you get all you’re due – up front.

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And stay out of the basement.