Episode 52: Larry Gets Sexually Harassed

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Why mankind is doomed • Who is to blame? • Why Hollywood is a sewer • Find out what Larry knows about 2 guys on the Hollywood Shame List • Why Louis CK is an unfunny turd • What you can and cannot say while flirting • SHAME STOPPERS – Larry’s new Shark Tank business you’ll want to invest in • Sex robots: are they the answer? • Discover who is on Larry’s hit listAll this and more!!!

I could write more. Lots more. But with a thumbnail this enticing, what the hell for?

What is Hollywood? Hollywood is Sodom and Gomorrah reverse engineered. Here we are 4,000 years later, and Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby  and Kevin Spacey are going to get us all killed. Every 0ne of those talent-less putzes is sick rich, but would they spring for a hooker like salaried conventioneers in Vegas? No. Those fat, phony phreaks had to extort and drug and coerce people to have sex with them. And now look what’s happening. Regular guys can’t so much as ask a girl to dance or compliment her shoes without risking jail time.

By the way, what’s faker than Kevin Spacey’s toupee? I watched the first 10 minutes of House of Cards and shut it off, because I could not bear to view Kevin’s skull carpet. Really, no lie. I find it offensive. Because plenty of other bald guys, like Ben Affleck and Burt Reynolds, have much more authentic looking  rugs than Kevin’s. What the hell’s the matter with that guy?

I never, ever liked Bill Cosby. Never found him funny. Richard Pryor – funny. Chris Rock – funny. Eddie Murphy – funny. Bill Cosby – not funny and pompous. And speaking of not funny, nobody is more not funny than Louis CK. He really bugs me. When I look at him, I see Charlie Brown in middle age. A twisted, roiling, blob of neuroses and syndromes, asking audiences to like him because he’s a loser. Well, Woody Allen and Rodney Dangerfield already rented that space, Louis, and they were funny. But you’re not. Here’s hoping you disappear and stay missing. Not because of your “sexual misconduct.” I don’t care of you like people watching you choke your John Thomas. I just don’t find you funny. Not even a little.

Like Lot, I was going to ask God to spare Los Angeles if I could find one just man, but that would be like finding a movie not rated R for retarded. It ain’t gonna happen. So I’m hauling my peeps the hell outta SoCal before the fire and brimstone starts to fly and I’ll watch Selfie City burn on the 6 o’clock news from my hillside perch in a small town far away where I’ll be clinging to my guns and religion.

Things are hopping at the TNS Dojo. We have two new sensies – Adam Nash for financial matters and Queen of Discipline Tess Lynch. (She’ll also be keeping order in the Facebook group.) Don’t piss her off. Her eyes can fry you in a nanosecond like the villains in Superman 2.

Now go join the Dojo here and start hanging with the best people on earth.

If you have a problem – any problem – email us at thatlarryshow@gmail.com and we’ll try to help you out.

By the way, I KNOW the day and time God will be destroying Southern California. But I’m only telling Patreonis.

See you next Tuesday.

 

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