Episode 298: Killer Parties

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Gender Reveal Parties – a ticket to the morgue? ▲ Why do parents think people care about their kid’s sex? ▲ Why did Larry lock himself in a toilet for a day? ▲ The reasons most parties suck ▲ Why all parties, forever, will be masquerades ▲ 3 party foods that will gag a maggot ▲ When Larry likes blindfolds ▲ This episode can save your life!

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Episode 297: America Dumbed Down

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How did America get to be so stupid? Larry wins an argument and loses a girlfriend America’s intellectual bar is set by Barney, the purple dinosaur ■ Why JFK enrages stateists ■ HUGE lies the government is telling you ■ Chicom nukes are headed your way – you’re gonna love ’em! ■ The Great Reset we all should embrace ■ What do Larry and Fran Lebowitz agree on?

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They (schools, the military, places like NASA) used to be consumed with measuring intelligence. Lots of guys got wealthy selling their copyrighted IQ tests. People who claimed to have high IQs would gloat over them and join clubs where they could commune with others like themselves – MENSA and so on.

Intelligence doesn’t seem to be prized much anymore.

2021 America would be better served with a test that measures stupidity. Which, by the way, has become another word verboten by those calling themselves “educators.” They don’t like the word stupid and they don’t like the word teacher anymore. Educator has twice as many syllables, so it must be two times better, right?

Wrong. It’s fucking pretentious. Same as a garbage collector calling himself a sanitation engineer or a plumber calling himself a hydration distribution technician or a policeman calling himself a law enforcement officer. Same pretentious bullshit, three different vocations.

One of my kids was admonished for using the word stupid – not in reference to another person, (which is fine by me) but it was in reference to some inanimate object. Teacher told my kid the word stupid is a “bad word” and not to use it.

I’d say she was a bad teacher, but she wasn’t. She was a stupid teacher. And in an unwitting way, an evil teacher. Teachers’ jobs are to enlighten and educate, not to force their biases and PC beliefs on students. Just the facts, teachers, just the facts. Keep your fucking shadings and opinions to yourselves. 

America is getting progressively more stupid. Besides teachers, who else is to blame? The media. They’ve become a lot like many teachers. Facts and knowledge are subordinate to opinions and feelings. They should stop calling it news. Call it what it is – opinions and feelings.

All this stupidity portends doom for America. I can’t think of a single politician who isn’t stupid. From either party. Not one. Not good.

Some dead politicians were pretty damn smart. Like JFK. Love him or hate him, nobody could say he was stupid.

Here’s a link to one of his speeches, delivered at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in 1961. Much of it would go right over the heads of teleprompter – reading mannequins that call themselves journalists.

JFK SPEECH TO PRESS CORPS, 1961

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Episode 296: Phonies

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Bruce Springsteen: Born to Pose Why are advertising execs dumber than worms? ■ Why celebrity endorsements always suck ■ Springsteen’s sequel to Born To Run – revealed! ■ WTF is a “sustainable mobility solution?” Jeep’s parent company a European clown show, has the answer ■ If you’re fed up with phony people, companies and causes, THIS is your episode!

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A TALE OF TWO PHONIES

The Jeep commercial that ran in Superbowl 2021, may be the most moronic, deceitful 2 minutes of piffle ever recorded. It’s in-your-face bullshit and hypocrisy. To craft hypocrisy, you need a hypocrite.

Bruuuuuuce!

Brett Michaels wants his faux cowboy hat back.

Rock stars need 2 things to succeed. 1) Talent, and 2) luck.

The smart ones – the ones who are truly self aware, NEVER lose sight of #2.

I’ve seen unknown axe – men in dive bars who could play Clapton off the stage. Heard vocalists that could fill in for… you name them – Freddy Mercury, Steve Perry, Sammy Hagar – and no one would know the difference.

Springsteen has a good rock rasp.

So do a million other guys.

He’s a decent guitarist, but he ain’t great. And that’s okay – he’s a front man – that’s why he hires great guitarists.

He has written many fantastic songs. Irrefutable.

When some people remain successful decade after decade, they forget the luck element. They take themselves verrry seriously. They think they crap Bon-Bons. They confuse popularity with importance.

Rock Stars are not important. Ever. Nobody needs them. Nice to have around, but utterly unnecessary.

Here’s Bruce, in his worst performance ever.

Jeep’s shitty commercial, starring Cowboy Jesus Springsteen

He’s terrible because he’s so fucking far out of his own wheelhouse. It would be as silly as if he walked into an operating room, grabbed the scalpel out of the surgeon’s hand and said “I’ll take it from here, Doc.”

After that crap ran on the Superbowl and racked up 40 million YouTube views, it came out that Bruce was pinched by NJ cops for DWI. Only a two and a half months earlier. It’s not a stretch to speculate that prep and negotiations for his appearance in the Jeep ad were in progress at the time of his arrest.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

A Superbowl commercial with a mega Rock Star doesn’t happen in an hour or a day or even weeks. There were endless agents and managers and FUCKTONS of lawyers involved, and nobody ever thought to ask him if he had any skeletons in his closet? And it never occurred to Springsteen to mention it? He either has brain damage, or his ego is so swollen, he didn’t think it would matter. After all, he’s THE BOSS, right?

It’s all very funny, because everyone involved in the debacle deserved exactly what they got. Beginning with the parent company of Jeep, a PC clown-show Dutch outfit called Stellantis.

Look at their video. It would give an SJW a spontaneous orgasm. It nearly made me puke. Everything about it is deceptive and phony and cowardly. They lack the balls to say they make cars, so they call them “sustainable mobility solutions.” 

Here’s their shitty video.

Stellantis shitty video

Jeep is NOT an American brand.

How dare they position their product as such?

Bruce Springsteen is NOT middle-of-the road, politically. He’s a leftist.

This is driven home by this direct quote from Springsteen. It really shows his leftist, hive mentality.

I realized in the end that individual freedom, when it’s not connected to some sort of community, can be pretty meaningless.

Wrong, Brucie. Freedom is freedom. Being untethered is freedom in it’s purest form.

A phony rock star.

A phony “mobility solutions” company.

Fuck ’em both.

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Episode 295: Larry’s Road Trip Redux, Pt. 4 – Lost America

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Why are Bass Pro Shops America’s cultural divide? What’s the real reason coastal elites hate Classic America? How did cowboys go from heroes to villains? ▲ Can anyone eat a 72 oz. steak dinner in under an hour? ▲ Did Casey Jones really crash his train or was he set up? ▲ Why Nashville is way cooler than L.A. ▲ What does Larry have in common with Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz? ▲ ALL IS REVEALED, in the 4th part of the Road Trip Redux

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Look at that picture. It says so much, probably more than the artist knew. It’s the back plate of a “make a souvenir “ machine at the Big Texan in Amarillo.

The artwork depicts a bygone era. Why not present day? The Chevy impala is maybe a 1962. Why not a late model Honda Accord? Of course, the Chevy is a fuckton cooler looking than any Honda. (Has there ever been a cool Honda?)

But it’s more than that. It’s not even sub textual.

HOME OF THE FREE? What a quaint, retro and false statement.

In the 1980’s, Reagan said it was morning in America. According to make a souvenir, it’s sunset it America. And that machine is probably 20 years old.

It’s fucking midnight, folks.

Still, the Big Texan delivers what it promises. A diversion from the shit-show that is 21st Century America.

If you can inhale a 72 ounce steak dinner in less than an hour, it’s on the house. Here is that dinner. Could yo do it?

Well, Molly Schuyler did. Man up!

I finally got to see the inside of a Bass Pro Shop.

If you want to rid America of all soyboys, SJWs, snowflakes and Coastal Elites, lure them into Bass Pro Shops and bar the doors. Within 5 minutes, they’ll spontaneously combust.

A very quiet, sustainable, never smelly zoo., Courtesy of Bass Pro Shops.
Kiddie camo. Cute as a deer slug!

Who knew Casey Jones was not a myth, but an historical figure? I do, now that I’ve visited his Village, in Jackson Tennessee.

I like it there.

Didn’t buy any Holy Tea. I’m good with Earl Grey.

Time marches on. This Tesla charging station is across from Casey Jones’ doomed locomotive #382.  (BTW, 382 adds up to 13.)

God bless America.

What’s left of it.

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