Episode 54: Charles Manson & Me

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How Charlie acquired a 35 – woman harem – and you can too! • When America hoped Manson would kill Geraldo Rivera • What makes a Manson chick a Manson chick • Why Ted Kennedy & Charles Manson were similar • Why Elizabeth Warren could be a Manson chick • Why Charles Manson was the rock star of psycho killers • What is the Manson challenge and are  you up for it? How Hollywood triggered Charles Manson • All this and MORE!

America needs bogey men and Charlie Manson was the top. Someone we could hate. Someone we could abuse. Someone we could reference when Hitler was worn out. Best of all, every now and then – for damn near FIFTY YEARS… we’d get to rediscover Charlie at parole hearings. We’d wheel him out like Quasimodo and throw rotten fruit and spit on him with no regrets. He truly was the gift that kept on giving. And now he’s gone. We should have cooked up a LinkedIn profile for him while he was still breathing. Maybe we could have found a replacement.

Heroes are a dime a dozen. And they’re boring. They do their good deed, then recount it for the media, then they say “anybody wudda done wat I did” and most of us think… damn straight… and go pour ourselves another bowl of Wheaties.

And another thing about heros. These days, “hero” is the most elastic word in the dictionary. A hero is somebody who simply doesn’t do something heinous. A  movie usher helps a lost toddler find his mom, instead of pushing the toddler off the balcony… and he’s a hero. Face it, we’re all sick of ersatz heroes.

We actually prefer villains. We all stack up as sterling citizens next to a scurrilous villain, don’t we? Comparisons are so much easier.

We need a heavy. We need a whipping boy. We need a monster. Kim Jong Un? Too remote. Kim Kardashian? Too accessible. Where in hell are we going to find a villain of Charles Manson’s stature? He was the perfect sized villain, because at 5’2″, we all figured we could throttle him with both hands tied behind our backs.

He left behind a hell of a legacy and that’s what this episode is a about – a man and his minions – the Manson Family.  Even his schtick was unique. Did Jeff Dahmer or John Wayne Gacy have zombie-like families who would murder on command? Does OJ? You see what I’m getting at here? We had the Rolls Royce of psycho killers for damn near a half century. Replacing him won’t be easy. We’d better get busy.

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