Truth lives at That LARRY SHOW, a weekly sojourn at the crossroads of madness and enlightenment. With LARRY in your life, you'll Take No Sh*t, and laugh your way to victory.
How vindictive, petty Burbank California bureaucratsare destroying a small business – and YOUR freedom ▲ The Burbank cop who makes $344,000 per year▲ The Burbank fireman who makes $419,000 per year ▲ Why the BEST jobs are gubmnt jobs ▲ The art of political warfare ▲ Sick of Big Gubmnt’s abuse? This is your episode!
The City of Burbank‘s bureaucratsare a bunch of wildly over-paid bullies flexing the muscle private citizens bought/gave them. They’re are trying to destroy a guy for operating an outdoor patio at his restaurant, Tinhorn Flats.
The City has surrounded the restaurant in permanent, heavy-grade chain link fencing.
Cops arrested and jailed the owner 3 times – on bullshit charges.
Keeping Burbank SAFE… from a restaurant. (While racking up some EZ overtime.)
The City fined him over $50,000. They’ve cut his power, padlocked his doors, boarded up his windows, piled tons of sandbags against the entrance.When the fencing was embedded in concrete, squads of Burbank cops were present to make sure the caging went smoothly.
Is this America?
In 2021 it is.
This is Burbank City Hall. Fancy digs for a town of a mere 100,000.
Check the logo at the top of the Halls of Power.
Here’s one of Adolph’s favorite flags.
Coincidence?
If the Burbank Big Government Bullies succeed in destroying Tinhorn Flats, America is over.
2 rules that ensure you’ll never get screwed on a used car purchase ▲ The Cadillac that almost killed Larry ▲ Why econo-box cars are depressing ▲ The summer job that ended Larry’s aspirations as a mechanic ▲ Why JD Power is B.S. ▲ The car Larry loved above all others ▲ If you like wheels, this is your episode.
What’s the latest euphemism for censorship? ♠ Which is worse, Twitter or Facebook? ♠ What 3 things can you do to fight censorship? ♠ Which dead President do we need now more than ever? ♠ Is Facebook’s censor actually a shell company? ♠ Listen to this episode — before it’s censored!
How Marxism is destroying America ▲ Why the hive hates you ▲ How many .22 caliber shots does it take to shred a hornet’s nest? ▲ Why the hive loves the words manifesto, mandate and together ▲How the pandemic has been leveraged to tear America apart ▲ Why the migration away from hive strongholds will be futile ▲ If you love America, you need this episode — and pesticides!
What’s more important – career or pointy chicks? ♦ Why is the FCC regulating bike bells? ♦ How did “be safe” replace “no guts, no glory?” ♦How did risk management become a career? ♦ What 3 things should you do before re-locating? ♦ Why must travel be a critical part of your life? ♦ What thing should be your life’s compass? ♦ Listen to this episode and conquer fear!
UNCOVERED: The poker table in the desert where space aliens play 5-Card Draw ▲ LOCATED: All the crap in the world ▲ DEFINED: The difference between crap and shit ▲ REVEALED: # of days we waste searching for misplaced crap ▲ EXPLAINED: Why the Mojave lures beings from other galaxies ▲ CURATED: Doll-Head Art — what is it and where can you buy some – cheap? ▲ UNLOCKED: every mystery, in this very special episode!
Is a picture worth a thousand words? If it’s DaVinci’s Salvator Mundi, which fetched $450 million at auction, hell yeah...a thousand words in 24 karat gold. Da Vinci aside, even the most clever wordsmith can’t compete with the truth and brevity of un-doctored photograph.
In this Part 2 of Call of the Weird, come traipse with me through the Sky Village Swap Mee (sic)–
Swapmee!
See – an image of the sign says it better than I ever could. Kind of like that old Henny Youngman joke – take my wife… please! Since the Mojave is reputed to be an interstellar travel depot, perhaps that sign is a clever allegory – swap MEE for one of your fellow alien beings and take me the fuck off this planet! A lot of people share that desperate sentiment. How do I know?
I’m one of them.
We have our own secret signals and handshakes. In fact, handshaking is one of the most obvious. If someone wants to shake my hand, I’ll shake. Fuck Fauci. He’s a liar and a punk and is criminally culpable for a lot of awful things. His felonious fuckery dates back to the dawn of the AIDS crisis in the 80s. Informed people hate him. With good reason.
Another covert communique is walking around in the great out-doors bare-faced. When we Daredevilspass each other on hiking trails or sidewalks, we smile knowingly. And we can see each other smile. Imagine that.
We also see the signals from those Safety Firsters who are quite happy with this planet’s current state of irrational fear and mindless, twitch-muscle obedience to self-proclaimed “experts…” big Pharma scumbags, social media tycoons and gubmnt douche-bags. Like NY’s Cuomo and California’s Newsom. Cuomo should be sharing a cell with Fauci and Newsom should be bitch-slapped so hard, his hair-do comes undone.
When the Safety Firsters leave their basements, their rheumy, vitamin D-depleted eyes throw hate bombs at us Daredevils’ naked faces. They silently wish their orbs could generate a death ray like General Zod in Superman II. Which is why I always wear mirrored shades. Right back atcha! Sometimes they cross the street rather than cross our paths. I’m good with that.
At the Sky Village Swap Mee, the signage is a lot more serious about masking than the vendors are. In fact, the vendors appear to be serious about nothing. Just look at the orderly display of their inventory.
Crap from here to the horizon.
Some vendors call themselves “artisans” rather than artists. Of course, 3 syllables is always better than two, especially when you’re slinging bullshit. Besides tie-dyed apparel and taffy twist hash pipes, they output a lot of what I call Doll Head Art. Why doll heads? Because they really amp-up the creep factor. Just as Alice Cooper.
Doll Head Art – get some NOW!
And what is the fascination with toilets?
When in doubt, add a toilet.
Does your yard look unremarkable? Make it stand out, with a life size, rusty IRON STAGECOACH. You’ll be the talk of the town. Best of all, the neighbors who hate it… cannot burn it or break it. Only a crew with acetylene torches can make it go away.
US Park Rangers claim these are ancient petroglyphs. That’s bullshit. They’re emojis.
In the high desert, the message is… there is no message.
There is no message. not now, not ever.
How much would you pay for this? Okay, how much would you demand to haul it to a dump?
Sex Magick in the Mojave – how Scientology’s founder and the father of the U.S. space program teamed up to conjure the demon whore of Babalon ▌The INTEGRATRON – the dome in the desert that’s a time machine ▌The dinosaurs that guard Palm Springs ▌How today’s tech is tomorrow’s landfill ▌The last big idea mankind will ever have ▌Want to know the future? Listen!
People ask me why I can’t stay away from the desert. I’ve never had an adequate answer. But I just flashed on the perfect response. There was a best selling book – Why Men Love Bitches. That’s why the desert turns me on. As biomes go, it’s one raging, sexy bitch.
For some years, I lived at the beach on the South shore of Long Island. Not near the beach – AT the beach. I’d step outside and my feet were in sand. Loved it. There was a jetty nearby, with a hole on the bottom that was a fish condo. Any time I wanted, I’d bait a hook, zip it into the hole – presto – fresh fish dinner. The sea is a generous place. It will feed you, float you, toss you around like a playful father.
Then, there are those other beaches – the waterless ones. My favorite is the Mojave. 48,000 square miles of water-less beach. Vultures instead of sea gulls. Scorpions and rattlesnakes instead of fish. The Mojave should be renamed, NATIVES ONLY.
The desert is not inclusive. It is extremely exclusive. Only homies are welcome. Visitors can visit, but watch where you step. And if you over stay, the desert won’t politely hint that you should leave, it will try to kill you. It needs no fences or walls to keep out invaders.
The desert – specifically the Mojave desert, is locus of the weird and nutty. Aren’t crazy chicks always the hottest? Like calls to like, and so I guess I must be off my chooch as well.
Here are some images from the high desert.
Who is this Joshua dude that they should name the trees after him?A private Calvary.Whore of Babylon that Parsons and Hubbard tried to locate. Who can blame them? She’s pointy AFEverything mulches.Trunkless heads in a trunk.
Gender Reveal Parties – a ticket to the morgue? ▲Why do parents think people care about their kid’s sex? ▲ Why did Larry lock himself in a toilet for a day? ▲ The reasons most parties suck ▲ Why all parties, forever, will be masquerades ▲ 3 party foods that will gag a maggot ▲ When Larry likes blindfolds ▲ This episode can save your life!
How did America get to be so stupid? ■ Larry wins an argument and loses a girlfriend ■ America’s intellectual bar is set by Barney, the purple dinosaur ■ Why JFK enrages stateists ■ HUGE lies the government is telling you ■ Chicom nukes are headed your way – you’re gonna love ’em! ■ The Great Reset we all should embrace ■ What do Larry and Fran Lebowitz agree on?
They (schools, the military, places like NASA) used to be consumed with measuring intelligence. Lots of guys got wealthy selling their copyrighted IQ tests. People who claimed to have high IQs would gloat over them and join clubs where they could commune with others like themselves – MENSA and so on.
Intelligence doesn’t seem to be prized much anymore.
2021 America would be better served with a test that measures stupidity. Which, by the way, has become another word verboten by those calling themselves “educators.” They don’t like the word stupid and they don’t like the word teacher anymore. Educator has twice as many syllables, so it must be two times better, right?
Wrong. It’s fucking pretentious. Same as a garbage collector calling himself a sanitation engineer or a plumber calling himself a hydration distribution technician or a policeman calling himself a law enforcement officer. Same pretentious bullshit, three different vocations.
One of my kids was admonished for using the word stupid – not in reference to another person, (which is fine by me) but it was in reference to some inanimate object. Teacher told my kid the word stupid is a “bad word” and not to use it.
I’d say she was a bad teacher, but she wasn’t. She was a stupid teacher. And in an unwitting way, an evil teacher. Teachers’ jobs are to enlighten and educate, not to force their biases and PC beliefs on students. Just the facts, teachers, just the facts. Keep your fucking shadings and opinions to yourselves.
America is getting progressively more stupid. Besides teachers, who else is to blame? The media. They’ve become a lot like many teachers. Facts and knowledge are subordinate to opinions and feelings. They should stop calling it news. Call it what it is – opinions and feelings.
All this stupidity portends doom for America. I can’t think of a single politician who isn’t stupid. From either party. Not one. Not good.
Some dead politicians were pretty damn smart. Like JFK. Love him or hate him, nobody could say he was stupid.
Here’s a link to one of his speeches, delivered at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in 1961. Much of it would go right over the heads of teleprompter – reading mannequins that call themselves journalists.
Bruce Springsteen: Born to Pose ■ Why are advertising execs dumber than worms? ■ Why celebrity endorsements always suck ■ Springsteen’s sequel to Born To Run – revealed! ■ WTF is a “sustainable mobility solution?” Jeep’s parent company a European clown show, has the answer ■ If you’re fed up with phony people, companies and causes, THIS is your episode!
The Jeep commercial that ran in Superbowl 2021, may be the most moronic, deceitful 2 minutes of piffle ever recorded. It’s in-your-face bullshit and hypocrisy. To craft hypocrisy, you need a hypocrite.
Bruuuuuuce!
Brett Michaels wants his faux cowboy hat back.
Rock stars need 2 things to succeed. 1) Talent, and 2) luck.
The smart ones – the ones who are truly self aware, NEVER lose sight of #2.
I’ve seen unknown axe – men in dive bars who could play Clapton off the stage. Heard vocalists that could fill in for… you name them – Freddy Mercury, Steve Perry, Sammy Hagar – and no one would know the difference.
Springsteen has a good rock rasp.
So do a million other guys.
He’s a decent guitarist, but he ain’t great. And that’s okay – he’s a front man – that’s why he hires great guitarists.
He has written many fantastic songs. Irrefutable.
When some people remain successful decade after decade, they forget the luck element. They take themselves verrry seriously. They think they crap Bon-Bons. They confuse popularity with importance.
Rock Stars are not important. Ever. Nobody needs them. Nice to have around, but utterly unnecessary.
He’s terrible because he’s so fucking far out of his own wheelhouse. It would be as silly as if he walked into an operating room, grabbed the scalpel out of the surgeon’s hand and said “I’ll take it from here, Doc.”
After that crap ran on the Superbowl and racked up 40 million YouTube views, it came out that Bruce was pinched by NJ cops for DWI. Only a two and a half months earlier. It’s not a stretch to speculate that prep and negotiations for his appearance in the Jeep ad were in progress at the time of his arrest.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
A Superbowl commercial with a mega Rock Star doesn’t happen in an hour or a day or even weeks. There were endless agents and managers and FUCKTONS of lawyers involved, and nobody ever thought to ask him if he had any skeletons in his closet? And it never occurred to Springsteen to mention it? He either has brain damage, or his ego is so swollen, he didn’t think it would matter. After all, he’s THE BOSS, right?
It’s all very funny, because everyone involved in the debacle deserved exactly what they got. Beginning with the parent company of Jeep, a PC clown-show Dutch outfit called Stellantis.
Look at their video. It would give an SJW a spontaneous orgasm. It nearly made me puke. Everything about it is deceptive and phony and cowardly. They lack the balls to say they make cars, so they call them “sustainable mobility solutions.”
