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When you finally flip out, will it be like a champ or a chump? Here are the pro tips you need.
Snaps – they’ve become a part of life. Drudge seems to list at least one per week. But are those truly organic, authentic rage and fritz–out snaps or copycat snaps from attention–starved wannabes? Because a lot of them are looking very similar. Almost cookie cutter.
Be a loner, with creepy social media posts. Become either disgruntled employee or bullied student. Write a “manifesto” and/or suicide note. Commence “senseless killings.” Die by cop or suicide.
Same old, same old.
Once in a great while, some iconoclast snaps and re-defines the art of snapping.
One of the greatest of all time was Tony Kiritsis.
He elevated snapping to a higher art form. Maybe they should call it “Tony’s Safety Snapping.” Incredibly, nobody died during or after the 63 hours he spent with a shotgun wired to the head of his (former) mortgage broker. Tony became a folk hero of sorts. He made the entire City of Indianapolis kiss kiss ass for nearly three days while he heaped verbal abuse on them. Then, the hostage signed promissory note awarding Tony $5 million in damages. And the District Attorney gave written assurance Tony would not be prosecuted, either for his obstreperous behavior or for calling everybody motherfuckers and cocksuckers.
So Tony released the hostage and was promptly arrested, jailed and then locked in nuthouses for more than a decade. He was pretty damn smart until he trusted his government.
It took more than a quarter century for another snap maestro to emerge, one Marvin Heemeyer of Killdozer fame. The town of Granby Colorado was tormenting him, so over the course of 18 months, Marvin created this:
She’s a beauty, ain’t she? When he was finished, Marvin had demolished a substantial portion of Granby, including the police station and town hall. Why doesn’t Marvin get top honors over Tony? Because he put a bullet in his own head. That’s a forfeit. Sorry, Marv.
However, it was much more evident that Marvin’s actions were justified and his folk hero status is so secure, he’s even got his own flag.
That’s pretty cool.
So have a listen, and learn from the masters how to snap with style.
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