Episode 81: The Pizza Incident

DOWNLOAD THE MP3 HERE

Underage drinking with Larry • The rest of the pizzeria story from Episode 80 • The cool cop you’d like to know (and drink with) • What goes into the DMV “shopping cart?” • Larry disses: Coward County Sheriff, Gov. Jerry Brown and the Kalifornia bureaucracy • Why political dynasties ALWAYS spell disaster • When your gubmint assaults you • All this and more – dig in!

In 5th grade, I was swilling beer and scarfing pizza during lunch in The Little Villa Restaurant in Queens, on a school day. With my pals Dennis (the altar boy) and Rocky (the transfer from Flatbush.) How many kids today can say that? None. Its great to have accomplishments that are utterly unique and can never be replicated by anyone. (Everest is for copycat nitwits. Be original or be gone.)

Lunch was going great – we were filling our bellies and catching a buzz – until a cop walked in. What happened next? Listen to the episode.

I feel so sorry for kids today. They live the life of a veal. Trapped in boxes, for their safety. No sodas at school, weekly lock-downs, body cavity searches, metal detectors, transparent backpacks.

When I was in grammar school, only Heidi and Pippi Longstocking used back packs. Men carried gym bags like knuckle heads or briefcases like Don Draper or 007. And to be honest, unless hiking, or traveing, any male over the age of 12 wearing a back pack looks like a fucking moron. And if he’s 21+ wearing a backpack with his business suit, he looks like a double moron and a bucket of assholes. I have spoken.

And speaking of assholes, Broward County Sheriff Scott Israel is still employed. Think about that. Nixon resigned over a trifling break-in. Clinton was impeached over a BJ. Sheriff Scott is partially responsible for 17 deaths and he’s not going anywhere.

Shortly after the massacre, here’s what the Broward Twitter page was. Tone deaf? Holy shit.


As of this writing, Sheriff Monkey-Boi is all in for Autism Awareness. He should have hung himself in his basement. Instead, he’s the biggest attention whore in the sunshine state and still touting his “amazing leadership.”

Here’s the new Twitter image. Pathetic.

It’s very late in the City of Angels. Maybe I’ll add more to this manana.

Nite-nite.

PS- Will somebody PLEASE fire that asshole?