larryb – Page 45 – That LARRY SHOW

Episode 71: Was Jesus a Party Animal?

.Was Jesus a party animal? • Who were the Sons of Thunder? • Snarky nicknames JC had for his pals • How did JC’s first miracle involve alcohol? • How was JC manipulated by a woman? • Does abstinence make you a better person? • Why JC would have hung out at Sinners’ Sunday • All this and more!

Hey kids, here we are, all dressed up with someplace to go! This is episode 4 of the only show of its kind in the world. And it’s growing every week. The BBQ is hot, the beer is cold, the chix are pointy and I’m on FIRE! The spirit of truth burns in my guts like a shot o’ napalm and I’m bringing it to you raw and unvarnished.

Was Jesus a party animal? Sure looks that way. Also looks like he wasn’t the concave-chested, no-fun killjoy all the phony, mega-buck “God providers” have made him out to be.

In last week’s show, we figured out that if triggered, JC would get plenty pissed off and roar curse words like any red-blooded mensch from the first century, A.D (BTW, we never use that CE thing – that’s Commie shit – pinheads who do can shove that up their flabby, deceitful asses.)

And so we wondered, did people curse any differently 2,000 years ago? No. Listener Andrew Hann did some research and discovered a treasure trove of graffiti transcribed from tavern walls in Pompeii thousands of years ago. Here are a couple of links.

FILTHY GRAFFITI from the Ancients #1

MORE FILTHY GRAFFITI from Pompeii

Ever notice how nitwits, jack-holes and Commies are real big on the “evolved man…” that people are somehow different now than they were millennia ago? That’s bullshit. People are the same as they ever were – only the clothing and devices have changed. Read the Pompeii graffiti and you’ll agree. (I love shooting holes in Commie tenets. Its soooo easy!)

In this episode we discover that JC was a smart aleck who liked to lay snarky nicknames on his besties. They’re pretty damn funny. But did they have a nickname for JC? Savior? Redeemer? Tender Shepherd? Wrong, wrong and wrong.

Come back next week and I’ll tell you the REAL nickname for JC.

In the meantime have another beer and sit back and listen. Then pop over to Patreon and support this holy mission.

The show isn’t going to promote itself. If you dig, it, please send a link to all your friends so we can cover the world.

Got questions / comments / death threats? Lay ‘em on me, at thatlarryshow@gmail.com

I’ll see you Tuesday for the regular edition of That LARRY SHOW.

Peace, love and togetherness.

Episode 70: Larry Goes Ballistic

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How to destroy the internet • The cop who wants Larry dead • How to kick ass on web tyrants • “Actorvists,” and why they suck • L.A. Predators – they’re not a team and they must be stopped • Larry unloads on liars, phonies, punks… and more!

Some weeks I sit down in front of the mic and think, what the hell am I going to say? This week, I had too much to say, because I was so pissed off.

Coyotes killed the neighbors dog as their little girl watched and my kids got an ear full of it and it took me two hours to console them. If you’ve never seen (or heard) coyotes tear a pet to shreds, it ain’t pretty. But if you live anywhere in L.A., you won’t have to wait long for the experience. The goddamn things are everywhere. A population explosion. They are vermin. They are dangerous. They need to be thinned out – big time. They are the ISIS of the animal kingdom.

It wasn’t always this way. But thanks to the efforts of outfits like Project Coyote, a bullshit organization that disseminates fairy tales about Coyotes, people think they have a right to share our space. At least they do until their poodle’s guts are strewn across their yards. One of my friends came home and found their Labrador’s head and collar in center yard and his torso and legs in the four corners. Neat huh? Wanna co-exist with things that do that? I do. And I’ve had a fucking belly-full of it.

Here’s a sample image from Project Coyote’s website. Makes them look like sweet house-pets, right?

Here’s what coyotes are really all about.

Here’s a “best of” reel of coyotes on killing sprees.

The spokeshole for Project Coyote is wait for it… “actorvist” Peter Coyote. I think he’s full of shit, and so I extend an open invitation to Peter to come on my show and explain to me exactly why they are great animals we should welcome into OUR habitat. And if Peter can’t make it, maybe Dan Flores, another coyote apologist, will accept my challenge. (He won’t.)

Here’s a video about Project Coyote and how it seems they are really good at… nothing – but… well, raising funds for… themselves. If they want to preserve coyotes in the wild, fine. But in urban areas, its a disaster, so shut up. And don’t ask me to “co-exist.”

The next thing to set me off was the latest chapter in the never ending shit show that is our government bureaucracy. I’ve had enough of Broward County Sheriff Scott Israel’s bullshit, arrogance and refusal to accept any responsibility for ANYTHING. So after we insist he get out of the uniform he disgraces, we dress him as an organ grinder’s monkey. Clothes DO make the man, eh?

Then, it’s out to the woodshed for a little talk. Have a listen. Whatta punk!

Lastly, if you’ve ever been capriciously and unjustly censored, de-monitized, age-restricted or banned by any social media platform, I’ve got a plan for you. And planet Earth.But I’m not going to spell it out here. So listen and if you love it, email me at thatlarryshow@gmail.com and we’ll see if we can make my idea a reality.

Why not join the Take No Shit Dojo and help me call out the liars and phonies that are fucking up our country, our world and our future? You’ll not only become part of a very cool and exclusive club, you’ll get access to bonus content and other goodies. Click here to learn more.

Click the “subscribe by email” button above and to the right and you’ll never miss an episode. If you get spare 30 seconds, click the i-Tunes button and leave us a 5-star review. It helps the show grow.

I’ll see you in a few days at Sinners’ Sunday, which is doing very nicely, thank you.

In the mean time, if you see a coyote attack a house pet, smash its fucking head with a Louisville Slugger.

As Sammy Davis Jr. (perhaps the most talented entertainer of all time) used to say:

Peace, Love and Togetherness.

Episode 69: Curse Along With Christ! (Sinners’ Sunday #3)

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Did Jesus Curse? (Yes he DID) ● What words did he use? ● Would he be sent to anger management class today? ● Charged with HATE speech? ● Meet PREACHER, the foul-mouthed kid from Larry’s past who inspired this show ● What is the CURSE TEST and how does it enable you to spot a phony? ● All this and more!!

Bonus Episode 14: Secrets of the Dojo and the Calling of the Honor Roll

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You are the inner circle of the inner sanctum – those who keep the lights on at the TNS Dojo. As such, you are entitled to what others are not.

This special bonus episode is about acknowlegement, gratitude and the achievement you have gifted to me.

Thank you, my friends.

Episode 68: Why the Parkland School Massacre was NOT a Tragedy.

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Why the Parkland School massacre was not a tragedy • Why the FBI should be disbanded • Sneaky lies they tell • Why free speech is on respiration • How the Parkland massacre could have been prevented • Larry’s bullshit detection device • Hop a freight train and time travel with Larry & Jack Kerouac to a better time • Angry? Good. Listen and seethe.

Episode 67– Sinners’ Sunday #2: Mardi Gras

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How 16 qts. of beef stew on a Facebook post leads you to spiritual enlightenment • What “compliment” might make a woman boil a rabbit on your stove? • Why Southern Lent is Mardi Gras and New England Lent is misery • Which “film-maker” is an asshole? • Meet the movie star priest who solved a religious riddle (and pissed off almost everyone) • What you can do to make God smile and not destroy Earth. All this and more!

So it’s Lent. And if you have to do it, wouldn’t you rather do it the way they do in the Southern latitudes, with her as your spiritual advisor?

Or, if you’d prefer something more austere, do it New England style.

Or, to hell with it altogether.

Welcome to Saturday’s most extended after-party.

Enjoy the show. Get at me at thatlarryshow@gmail.com.

Join the dojo for more content here.

See you back here on Tuesday.

Peace.

Episoode 66: Breaking Balls

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The dominatrix ex-cop we love • What is command presence? (and why should all cops have it?) • What is the police S.O.M. squad and why are members punks? • Why is ball breaking America’s biggest business? • The #metoo celeb accused of molesting men • Wanna getcha kink and rage on? This is your episode!

You can’t make this shit up is the phrase that bounces around my mind everytime I look at the news. Just when you think humanity can’t get any more stupid, it does.

At least, once in a while the indiocy is sweeteed with some eye-candy and salacious underpinnings, like the story about Kristen Hyman (pictured, in black vinyl, attempting to destroy my DNA manufacture, storage and delivery system.) Of course, it’s a rigged image, as I think Kristen and I would get along quite well. She’s a Take No Shit chick who was canned from the Hudson County Sheriff’s Dept just before graduating . They found out her previous gig was playing a whip-whistling, ball-kicking domina in kinky videos. In my book, that makes her the kind of woman who might make a great cop. When shit gets tense, Kristen won’t be needing any backup.

Here’s Kristen doing a swift-water rescue. Why don’t the life guards at my local pool look (or dress) like her?

Most of the garbage running Fed, State and local governments have done much, much worse than spank some dude (who loved every stroke) in a kinky video. But this is where we are in our so-called culture.

Kristen is a cute, pointy chick who got a bad deal. She is the yin to the yang that is Cristina Garcia – who has had a precipitious fall from grace. Garcia was featured in Time Magazine’s “Silence Breakers” issue as one of many victims of sexual harassment speaking out. But now Garcia is being accused of harassing and molesting men herself! Tsk, tsk. Imagine that? How is that possible?

Garcia doesn’t exactly deny any misbehavior. She says “I have zero recollection of engaging in inappropriate behavior.” Sounds like bullshit to me.

Here’s Garcia at a rally in L.A. braying about “bringing down the patriarchy.”

Hoist on her own petard. Ha ha ha!

As you know, my show is a no-guest format. But I would glady break that rule to have Kristen Hyman on my show. She looks smart. She looks fun. She has been wronged by government. If anyone knows Kristen, please ask her to contact me at thatlarryshow@gmail.com.

On the other hand, Cristina Garcia IS the government – a politican from Southern California. She’s what’s wrong with government.

For more content and rewards join the Dojo at patreon.com/thatlarryshow.

Hang with us this Sunday and every Sunday at Brother Larry’s Sinners’ Sunday. It’s your alternative God-provider. Beer, BBQ, babeage and spiritual adventure. Beats the ass off the neighborhood church, I gurantee it.

Here’s another look at what we offer:

Check it out.

Episode 65: Sinners’ Sundays #1

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Unhappy with your current God-provider? • Had a belly-full of bible-thumping phonies? • Then hang with the badasses at Sinners’ Sundays, where there’s beer, B-B-Q, babeage and spiritual adventure • Finally – a Sunday experience you can believe in.

Episode 64: Valentine Danger

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Where to meet your soul mate • Why Valentine’s Day is THE most dangerous day • Steve Wynn’s $7.5 mil payoff and the power-drunk punk bureaucrat • The new abnormal norms • Why Caitlyn Jenner knows more than you do • Why men must get pointy to get laid • How men are outgunned in the battle of the sexes • Everything you need to know about love and more!!!!

Here we are looking down the barrel of another Valentine’s Day – a day usually fraught with anxiety – but now, it’s just outright dangerous. Why? Because if you’re a dude who wants to win the heart – or other select parts of a chick – and you don’t do the Valentine thing juuuust right – you might wind up smeared, jobless or even jailed. That’s where we’re at now in our so-called society.

I can’t wait to see this year’s stories of Valentine’s abuse and triggering. OMG! The flowers he gave me made me sneeze! I want him fired! Or… the chocolates weren’t non-GMO… I’m suing! Or… He sent me a Valentine card without my written consent! Off with his scrotum!

How did we get here? Is our species doomed? Fear and paranoia are the new emotional norms. It’s eerily reminiscent of the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers. The plot was simple – some type of viral cosmic filth blew onto the earth and while everyone slept, they were digested by giant, swollen zucchinis and re-constituted to look as they did prior to ingestion. But the new Veggie People had flat-lined personalities.They all smiled that same dead eyed, dial-tone smile. They never laughed. They never showed any emotion. They just went about their normal business with all the verve, enthusiasm and predictability one would expect from a walking, talking squash. Until they met someone who had not yet been re-constituted. Then the would get triggered. They would stop and stare and point and screech like a Banshee getting corn-holed by a white hot, spiked javelin.

This is what it looked and sounded like:

There was a lot of controversy over the allegory of the movie. To me, it represented the Commie take-over. The hive mentality. The genocide of the individual.

If I were re-making the movie, I’d have it end on more of an up-note. The unconverted girl in the raincoat would pull a sawed-off 12 gauge from beneath her coat and stick it in Donald Zucchini Sutherland’s shrieking mouth and pull the trigger, blowing out the back of his head with a fine mist of blood and pumpkin guts.

I can think of nothing more thrilling that flirting with a pointy female. And now, the sex, speech and behavior Nazis are writing a code of conduct for that endeavor. These rigid, meddlesome, dictatorial shit-bags must be stopped, or

We. Are. Fucking. Doomed..

…unless armies of smart, enlightened, vivacious, non-Birkenstock-wearing women coalesce and organize and arm themselves with razor wits and tongues and humor and humanity and sawed-off shotguns and stop the galloping advance of the cosmic space filth that has invaded our world.

Ladies, the fate of our species is in your smooth, femme, manicured, bejeweled, competent and loving hands. SAVE US!

My new spin-off show – Brother Larry’s Sinful Sunday premieres this Sunday, February 11. Don’t miss it! It is going to SERIOUSLY trigger most organized religions and the frauds that run them. We’ll be serving cocktails while we take a spiritual journey to the truth.

Write to me at thatlarryshow@gmail.com

Support the show and the quest to eradicate viral Commie soul-sucking cosmic filth. Click here.

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See you Sunday. And then Tuesday.

TNS.

Episode 63: Who Can You Trust? 5 Secrets You Need to Know

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5 Secrets that make you un-con-able • Beware the “P” word (it’s not what you think) • Phrases con artists use on you • The book that changed Larry’s life • The #1 cause of homicidal rage • Recognizing deceptive signals • Who should we trust? • The BIG ANNOUNCEMENT – A SPIN OFF SHOW! All this and more!!!

Life doesn’t get any easier does it? That’s because we spend our adult lives like characters in a spy novel, trying to figure out who’s sharpening a knife for us. At school, at work, on social media, we sprint through a never-ending, horrid gauntlet of cretins trying to rip us off, defame us, damage and destroy us.

In this episode, you’ll discover 5 secrets that will make you impervious to all those evil bitches and bastards. You’ll learn the signals – verbal and non-verbal, that grifters and punks and lovers and spouses use to set you up. You’ll learn who to trust and why. After just 24 minutes with me, you’ll be better equipped than Neo was after they downloaded kung-fu into his brain.

Can you name another podcast that does that for you? No. You can’t. And you know exactly the ones I’m talking about.

Which is why you should go to Patreon right now and join the Take No Shit Dojo. Not only do you get more content with more secrets to kicking ass in life, you get signed books and custom recordings.

And speaking of other podcasts, I’m launching a spin off show – BROTHER LARRY’S BAD ASS SUNDAY SNAPS. There’s a teensy taste included in this episode. I’ll reveal more as we draw nearer to the debut date, which is Sunday, February 11.

This Sunday is Super Bowl Sunday. I have no idea who’s playing. I’ve never watched even one Super Bowl. Too much padding, too many rules, more starts and stops that a geriatric taking a leak. But I might start watching the new XFL games coming from Vince McMahon. IF – they lose all padding and helmets. IF every man gets a black jack. And IF any player makes a political statement OF ANY KIND, a psycho clown immediately beheads that player with a chain saw and then football shifts to field hockey using that player’s head. That would be entertainment. That would be sport.

Write to me at: thatlarryshow@gmail.com

Leave a voice mail at 302-71-larry

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See you Tuesday.